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The Meeting of the Parents

A friend of ours just got engaged to his girlfriend. We both like her a lot so we’re really happy for them. This past weekend was a big deal for them: the meeting of the families. Both their sets of parents came down to the area for their first official meeting (or possibly their first meeting period; our friends have only been dating for about a year and their families don’t live in the area). “Did you get a chance to ask Rich how it went yet?” I asked Jon. “Nope,” Jon replied with a bit of a grimace. We … Continue reading →

Appreciation

I woke up this morning feeling grand waves of appreciation. It is definitely not always the case–most mornings I struggle to get my eyes open so I can get in the shower and get myself going and the rest of the house. While I have learned how to focus more on appreciation over the years, it has been a concerted effort–relearning how to see the glass as half-full instead of cracked and leaking. I have met other single parents who used to think of themselves as optimistic but since becoming single parents find it more of a challenge. This morning, … Continue reading →

We Don’t Always Have to Be Serious

Being a single parent is serious business. Raising children, in general, can feel like super-serious business and we may have preconceived ideas about what it takes to be a responsible parent. You may wonder what role silliness and playfulness have in this serious situation of taking care of a family on your own? The truth is playfulness can play a big role in being a happy and successful single parent! Sometimes things can get so tense and times can be tight and stressful. This might not feel like the time to let go of being serious, but as a parent … Continue reading →

Think of Yourself as a Pioneer

A pioneer is someone who is breaking new ground and leading the way into unchartered territory. As single parents, we often get trapped thinking of ourselves as “outside” the pack or not part of a societal accepted mainstream. Instead of letting that inferiority complex take hold, how about thinking of ourselves as pioneers instead? I have a few books on female pioneers and women who traveled West on the Oregon Trail to start new lives on the West coast and I have found them to be amazingly inspirational. Many of these women started out reluctantly on the journey west as … Continue reading →

Focus on What You DO Have

The life of a single parent can be one of “lack”—we might be living on a tight budget, in a world where time is scarce and we just don’t feel like we have enough. This can be a trap, however, and we can get stuck in this “not enough” place. The anecdote is to focus on all the things and experiences we DO have, and take appreciative stock of where we are. So, single parent comrade, what is going well? What do you have that you can be appreciatively thankful for? Your child? Home? Health? A playful and healthy pet? … Continue reading →

Secret Confession—Sometimes a Good Cry Helps

I know that I have written a bit about mental health for the single parent, and staying positive and confident. These things ARE important and can be especially hard for stressed-out single parents. But, in all fairness, I thought I should make a secret confession…sometimes, there is just nothing more helpful and healing that to have a good, self-pitiful, cry! I have been at this single parenthood/parenthood thing for quite some time and I’ve learned that even the bleakest, most frustrating days are usually followed by something a little more pleasant. Eventually, kids move out of aggravating phases and they … Continue reading →