Search Results for: blog allowing yourself to be comforted

Allowing Yourself to Be Vulnerable—with Care

I have written here in the Single Parents Blog about how important it can be for us to allow ourselves to be comforted by others when we are going through a particularly difficult time. This can be a healthy way of receiving support so that we do not dump a bunch of stuff on our kids AND so that we can meet life’s challenges. Vulnerability is another issue that can be tough for single parents. Since many of us have had our trust shattered or been through typical challenges of human betrayal, we may have a hard time getting vulnerable … Continue reading →

Surround Yourself with Safe People

We often talk about the importance of a support network for a single parent and it is imperative that we find friends and family who can lend a hand, offer support and encouragement, and bolster us in our lives as a single parent. It is also important, however, that we learn how to identify and choose “safe” people to support and love our families. Depending on where you are coming from in your life, it might be easy or challenging to choose safe people to surround yourself with. Some of us have strong and healthy boundaries already, or we are … Continue reading →

Allowing Yourself to Be Comforted

Okay, so single parents are tough—at least many of us like to think that we are. But does this mean that we have to be stoic and tough all of the time? If we get sad, depressed, lonely, or frustrated, does this mean that we are weak or “less” of a parent? For some of us, learning how to let others help and comfort us can be a big personal challenge… Comfort can come in the most unsuspecting places, but we do have to open ourselves up and let ourselves feel and appreciate that comfort. Now, I am not talking … Continue reading →

Comfort Measures for a Single Parent Family

We often talk about organization and planning when it comes to a single parenting, and I do try to touch on ways to pay some attention to self-care. As a family, however, it may be time to figure out how to incorporate more comfort measures into your daily life and find ways to connect and nurture the family as a whole. Comfort measures do not have to be expensive—of course, a dinner out or spending the weekend being pampered at a lovely spa are both nice, but not practical for many single parent families. Simple things like soup and warm … Continue reading →

Staying Open…When We’re Tempted to Do Just the Opposite

The thing about going through the school of hard knocks, is that it can bring us a great deal of experience and wisdom, but it can also make us rigid and wary of taking chances. I have yet to meet a single parent who has “been through the wringer” who doesn’t wrestle a bit with staying open and continuing to try new things, people and take risks. Some us may blame our risk-taking behaviors for leading us to where we are in life and believe that if we exercise more self-control, we will avoid future problems. Somehow, we have to … Continue reading →

Healing Can Be Ongoing

I think that we have a tendency to think of healing and recovery as an obstacle to be overcome. For both ourselves and our children, if we are recovering from something painful and traumatic like a separation, divorce, death, or other major life-altering event, there is not necessarily one “graduation” point where we go from suffering to being “all better.” Healing can take time and it can definitely be ongoing. I have written before about how we can expect things that we thought were dead and buried to come up again and again for our kids. As our kids go … Continue reading →

Family Counseling—Feeling Vulnerable

For many of us, family or individual counseling eventually comes into the picture. We may seek counseling to help us over a rough patch or to help our family after a separation, divorce, death, or other family crisis. Once we have taken the plunge and reached out for help, the hard part is definitely not over. It is very typical to feel anxious and vulnerable as you embark on family counseling. As someone who was never “against” counseling, but just didn’t think that my family or family members would ever need it, I know first hand how vulnerable it can … Continue reading →

Strong Parent Emotions Can be Scary

It is not uncommon or unhealthy for us single parents to experience some really strong emotions–whether we are in the midst of a separation or a divorce, or have been through the death of a spouse–strong emotions are really part of the package. It is important to remember, however, that for children, our bubbling over and erupting with strong emotions can be a very scary experience. I have written before about how are children need to be able to trust that we have things under control and that we are in charge. Of course, it is only human that we … Continue reading →