Search Results for: blog are you trying to recreate or create the unattainable fantasy

“Who Fills Your Stocking?”

Just a couple days ago, I was chatting with a group of colleagues about the pending holidays. Someone asked me if I still did “stockings” for my kids even though they were older, nearly-grown teenagers. “Of course!” I answered happily. It was followed up with what appeared to be the accidentally insensitive: “Does anyone fill your stocking?” Well, I admit that I felt that typical momentary self-consciousness that we single parents get used to before I answered with as much self assurance as I could muster: “Nope. I’ve been a single parent for a long time and I’m quite used … Continue reading →

Is There a Point When You Just Call It “Good Enough”?

As I start to write this piece, I am really thinking about all my Christmas and holiday plans and chores, but I realize that it really is a great topic for a single parent at any time of the year. At some point, no matter how much we have already done or how much we think we still “ought” to do—we pretty much have to just decide that things are good enough and let it go. Last night, as I was maneuvering around the grocery store picking up items, I told myself it was going to be my VERY LAST … Continue reading →

Can You Live Without Alone Time (At Least for a While)?

I find that when I talk to new parents—whether they are partnered or single parents—one of the first and main topics that come up is how to find time to be alone. Not alone “as a couple” but genuine, all-by-ourselves, no one hanging on us or asking for anything alone time. Well, sometimes it just isn’t possible… One thing that has helped me over the years is realizing that “alone time” is somewhat culturally constructed. Different societies, tribes, and cultures have different ideas about being alone. There are those societies where the children are either strapped to, or attached to … Continue reading →

Are You Trying to “Recreate” or “Create” the Unattainable Fantasy?

Staying hopeful and optimistic can be challenging for a single parent. With one foot firmly grounded in the “real world” and another reaching for a better future—many single parents work to build a healthy family and a great life. Some of us can get hitched up, however, when we are clinging to a fantasy of a perfect family; or trying to recreate an ideal that may have never really existed in the first place. I must admit that I do think a certain amount of idealism and fantasy is a good thing. But, we single parents can drive ourselves crazy … Continue reading →