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Person First, Parent Second

I often wrestle with the whole philosophy that the family and children should come first. While I definitely keep my children and family life at the center of my life, I have learned over the years as a single parent, that if I don’t take care of myself too–I cannot take good care of my family and meet all my obligations. I am not always sure HOW to take care of myself and meet all my responsibilities. I know full well that even if I schedule an evening out with a friend, something could happen with one of my kids … Continue reading →

Keeping Promises to Ourselves

I like to operate on a reward system for myself. One of the ways I have discovered to keep myself motivated and encouraged is to promise myself rewards and “treats” at the end of a long week or after dealing with something particularly challenging (school conferences, filing taxes, paying bills, etc.) I think as single parents we have a tendency to keep our noses to the grindstone and we don’t necessary follow through on celebrations and rewards and make positive promises to ourselves that we actually keep. One of the things that we can learn as single parents is how … Continue reading →

We Are Entitled to Do Some Things Alone

One of the realities of single parenthood is that we often have our child or children as our constant companions. We eat together, run errands together, and when children are young or during times of stress, our kids will often even camp out in our bedrooms. Even though we parents may want a little alone time, it can be hard to carve out that time and even harder to justify. If we work all day, we may feel absolutely obligated to spend every other spare moment with our child. Alone time is not a crime, however, and we really are … Continue reading →

Time Tight? Prioritize Your Interests

We talk here in the single parents blog about the importance of finding time for self care and personal interests, but I know first hand that it is much easier to talk about it than to actually find the time and energy to do it. One of life’s lessons that I learned from an older mentor is that instead of just giving up and giving in as a single parent and assuming that we are going to have to put our personal interests on hold until our kids are out of the house or our life situations change–we can prioritize. … Continue reading →

Fun is Okay for a Single Parent Too

I think many of us single parents work so hard to distance ourselves from the stereotype of the irresponsible, different-date-every-night, financially precarious single parent that we take on a very serious and determined demeanor. In fact, we can get so focused on putting family first and rising to the challenges of duty and responsibility that we forget to give ourselves permission to have some fun. Some of us may even be “punishing” ourselves for our situations or think that we don’t deserve to have a good time since our lives are such a challenge. But, in fact, single parents deserve … Continue reading →

Relax! It WILL Alter Your Perspective

Tension headaches, tense muscles, poor sleep—the stress that often comes with life as a single parent can take its toll on our bodies—and on the way we see the world. I know it might seem incredibly simplistic, but learning how to relax can actually alter our perspectives and change the way the world looks. Stress and tension are not the sole proprietorship of the single parent, but I think that since there is only one of us, we can get locked into a certain “stressed out” perspective. Have you ever noticed how the world just looks different when you are … Continue reading →