_family   single-parenting

Child Support from the Ex-Spouse

by Renee Dietz | More from this Blogger

24 Feb 2007 10:22 PM

I remember one October going with my best girlfriend to meet her ex-husband. The purpose of the meeting was to pick up the children but also for him to hand over to her a very late child support payment. After the kids transferred cars, he handed her an envelope and drove off. She was shocked that he paid but her hopes of getting some financial aid was dashed when she opened the envelope only to find half of a $20 bill.

Although financial matters can be touchy, especialy among fighting couples going through a divorce, it is imperative you get things through the court for your children's sake. Your kids will need food, clothing, school items, doctor appointments, housing, and so on. I was so fortunate in that my kids dad paid through the courts, on time every time but I know this is not always the case.

In addition to the standard court filings, you need to have an attorney petition for child support on your behalf. Remember, child support is the law and your child's right. While some divorced couples can work things out, it may be necessary for you to go into battle. One misconception often heard of on the paying spouse's side is that the money is only for clothing, daycare, and school. The truth is that child support is designed to help with the monthly rent or mortgage, utility bills, food, and other cost of living expenses.

Once child support has been set up through the courts, even if your ex-spouse is paying every month, making it legal takes burden and stress off both parties so the kids can simply enjoy life. Finally, I strongly suggest that you keep the amount of child support from your children. After all, they do not understand the full picture so if they hear a certain dollar amount, it may seem as if the parent is not spending much money on them. Most often, the less the children know about the divorce proceedings and child support the better for everyone.

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Learn more about Renee Dietz
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I have been a successful, published writer for the past 26 years, offering a writing style that is informative, creative, and reader-friendly.

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User Comments

QueenAngie Central Illinois, USA Online! (60086) 25 Feb 2007 01:14 PM

What a shame that the children's father was such a jerk, sending 1/2 of a $20.00. Wonder how he expected those children to be fed or clothed with his not paying child support.

I think it is better when the court arranges for the wages to come directly from the paycheck of that parent, and then money to be sent to the custodial parent.

Thank you for sharing!

Renee Dietz (964) 25 Feb 2007 01:59 PM

Thank you for your comment...yes, he was a real jerk. She's been my dearest friend for 24 years and she's done it all alone. I was fortunate in that my kid's father and I are great friends and we did take it through the court. I agree this is the best way, taking the emotional aspect out of the equation and putting the kid's best interest in the forefront where it belongs. Renee

autoverzekering (55) 25 Feb 2007 02:32 PM

What a jerk !! :@

Renee Dietz (964) 25 Feb 2007 05:10 PM

YOU ARE 100% RIGHT! I remember my friend and I would spend Saturday nights making popcorn for the kids while we sipped on Diet Coke, flipping through cruise books thinking that one day, we might actually have enough money to take a cruise. Last year, after 23 years of friendship, we went to the Cayman Islands and Jamaica on our cruise. Ultimately, we came out stronger, better, and more appreciative women with exceptional children. :)

EbayMom (370) 04 Mar 2007 05:29 PM

Thanks for this....it makes me stronger knowing other women are going through the same things.

Renee Dietz (964) 04 Mar 2007 10:56 PM

eBay Mom...there are many other women struggling with this one issue. While in the middle of the battle, things seem hopeless and bleak but I can assure you...there is light at the end of the tunnel. I hate to use cliches, but I happen to like the one that says, "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger". Sad, but true...hang in there, be strong, and more importantly, be encouraged....please feel free to write me anytime!

Renee

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