Compassion

by Kori Rodley Irons | More from this Blogger

11 Nov 2007 03:54 PM

When I was writing about appreciation earlier, I realized that the sister to appreciation, and something equally important in the life of a single parent is compassion--compassion towards ourselves, our children, our exes, even those people who are seemingly out to make our lives even more difficult. Nurturing and fostering compassion can make a huge difference in the life of a single parent.

I thought of compassion, I think because this was a real big stumbling block for me back in the early years after my separation and divorce and when I was working to rebuild my life. The person I had the least compassion for through it all was, surprise, myself! I just couldn't ease up on myself for all the mistakes I'd made, the personal choices that got me to where I was at and the mistakes I thought I was continuing to make even though I thought I should "know better." I expected so much of myself. Since I immediately got myself back into school to finish off my degree, in addition to working full time and having my children most of the time--I had a lot on my plate. If I got to work late, or had to drop a class because I couldn't fit it into my over-burdened schedule, I kicked myself from here to Timbuktu! Not so good on the self-compassion.

Of course, since I was feeling so stretched and crummy, I didn't have a lot of patience or compassion for anyone else either. What I learned as I recovered and moved out of that stressful period, however, was that self-compassion was one of the greatest gifts I could give myself. And, by easing up on myself, I just naturally eased up on everyone else around me. Whether you call it mercy or understanding or sympathy or whatever--compassion is key to the peace of mind of any single parent!

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