Search Results for: blog denial and the single parent

Dad in Denial

Can money really solve your biggest problems? A billionaire dad is really, really hoping it can. Cecil Chao is so livid that his smoking hot daughter, Gigi, recently wed her same-sex partner that he is offering a $65 million “marriage bounty” to any man who can get her to change her sexual preference. In other words, the 76-year-old Hong Kong business tycoon is in complete denial that his darling daughter is a lesbian and is willing to pay a pretty penny to any guy who can turn her straight. Denial is not an unusual parental reaction upon learning about a … Continue reading →

Teaching Kids Self-Denial

I recently attended a symposium which featured a presentation by a childhood behavioral “expert.” Regular readers of this blog know how I feel about so-called “experts,” but this guy had a host of impressive credentials, not the least of which included raising eight children into incredibly successful young adults. Plus, I was very interested in his topic: “Teaching Kids the Art of Self-Denial.” According to the expert, one of the most important “gifts” you can give your child as he develops into an adult is to teach him or her to “routinely deny himself immediate pleasures to achieve future good.” … Continue reading →

Single is not a Synonym for Unhappiness

This week I was talking to someone about becoming single. He said to me, “Well you’re already at rock bottom. Guess you can only go up from here.” I was a little taken aback by the comment. I do believe life will only continue to go up from here, but I’m certainly not at rock bottom. In fact, since getting divorced and becoming a single mother, my life is significantly more fulfilling. I am happier than I have been in my entire life. That’s not to say I don’t still have my bad days, but even those aren’t so bad … Continue reading →

Single Parent Dating—Are You Afraid, or Just Being Practical?

What’s fear got to do with it, you may be asking, but let us be honest here, dating as a single parent can be a complicated and confusing thing (task, endeavor, or adventure?) We want to get it right, but we only have a limited amount of time and energy. We want to learn from past mistakes and we would really like to avoid making the same ones, but we might be trying so hard to avoid pain that we don’t even want to get back in the pool. We tell ourselves that we are just being reasonable and practical—but … Continue reading →

Fantasies, Daydreams and Single Parenting

It may seem like the typical single parent has to be a constant pragmatist–after all, we do have to deal with the every day realities of family life without much respite. Plus, many of us may have suffered through the shattering or shifting of our dreams and it can be tough to muster up the courage to revisit those dreams or figure out what we want our lives to look like now. Despite all those realistic realities–I do think that daydreams, fantasy and imagination can be important coping and inspirational tools for a single parent. I’m not talking about living … Continue reading →

Parenting Denial—Part One—How it Hurts

We have all heard jokes about how parents have a tendency to think their children are the smartest, most beautiful and most amazing creatures to ever walk the earth. I, for one, don’t think there is anything wrong with that! There are some positive things that come from a little bit of denial as a parent (more about that in another article.) At the same time, we can cultivate a denial when it comes to our children that can be harmful. There are definitely times when we need to put on our objective glasses and know when there are problems … Continue reading →

Suspend Judgment of the Other Parent Until You Know the Facts

As you might imagine, I hear all sorts of stories and “versions” of what is going on when my kids return from a trip/visit to their dad’s house. In the early months after the final separation (there were a few before the final one) and the divorce, I used to get very hot and bothered by the things they told me. I was quick to get on the phone or on e-mail to find out just exactly what was going “wrong” over there. Eventually, I learned that I needed to give my children’s father the benefit of the doubt and … Continue reading →

Denial and The Single Parent

You may know by now that denial is an amazingly powerful survival tool. Like many human coping mechanisms, it is not one of those things that is inherently good or bad, but, instead, is a survival skill that has its place. As single parents, we may find ourselves utilizing denial to help us through a particularly difficult time, but at some point, we do have to learn how to process and let go of all that denial. Denial can show its face in many forms–in thinking that we will get back together with an ex who has left or abandoned … Continue reading →

Raising an Adopted Child #5 Ages 8-12 Grieving and Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is an important factor in the developing school-age child. Self-esteem is a child’s overall judgment of themselves. Good self-esteem is important for all children and influences self-confidence, creativity, and motivation. Healthy self-esteem gives a child pleasure in being who they are and who they can become. Self-esteem over shadows academic capability, physical beauty, opportunity and social skills. All children need to feel successful in all areas of development, academic, social, and emotional. For adopted children he or she must also incorporate their adoption or foster care status into their view of themselves. Some studies actually show that the self … Continue reading →

Thankful for my Divorce?

My divorce was hands down the most difficult thing I have ever gone through in my life. While things ran rather smoothly, I thought my life was over. At the time I just knew nothing good could ever come of it! But I was wrong. In light of Thanksgiving I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking of the things I am so thankful for and believe it or not my divorce is at the top of the list this year. Now I realize this may sound a little crazy to most of you. Why in the world would anyone … Continue reading →