Search Results for: blog different ideas about boundaries

Dating when You Both Have Kids–Part Four–Blending Kids of Different Ages

An old friend of mine was starting to date another single parent in the midst of her divorce. She had two little girls that were pre-school age and he had three girls aged 2 to age 7. They were a very active pack when they all got together. When they eventually moved in together, a big part of the adjustment came in just trying to get all the kids to get used to each other. Other single parents who date each other have just the opposite problem–the kids are at such disparate ages that they have a difficult time trying … Continue reading →

Boundaries 101 For Older Kids (and Their Parents)

I tend to write about my personal “boundary” philosophies when it comes to parenting now and again. The reality is that I find this subject comes up again and again when I am talking with friends. They may not realize that their “problem” with their kids is really about setting boundaries—but it often is. And, it doesn’t stop when kids grow up and move out—in fact I have found with my friends with older kids (in their 20’s and 30’s)—the boundary issues can be even stronger and more of a struggle! As usual, I want to clarify that I am … Continue reading →

Different Ideas About Boundaries

I have probably had to over-compensate in the boundary department with my “side” of a post-divorce family due to very different ideas about such things with my children’s father. Believe it or not, I have only been inside his house once and I am constantly having to remind him that he cannot come in my house when I’m not home. And, we have been divorced for YEARS… The other day, my kids were sharing with me how at the other house, they “joke” about my strong boundaries. I think they said that folks over there actually say “boundaries! Boundaries!” in … Continue reading →

Interview with “The Sing-off” Contestants, Vocal Point, Part One

Are you watching this season’s competition on “The Sing-Off?” If you’re not, you’re missing a treat. Sixteen talented a capella groups were featured on the premiere, with two groups voted off to start. Tonight, the battle continues, and one of the remaining competitors has my heart—and the heart of my family—all the way. Named Vocal Point, this group of nine young men from nearby Brigham Young University has the chops—and the lungs—to make it all the way. I was honored to interview three of these guys this last week, and I appreciate them for taking time out of taping and … Continue reading →

Couples’ Photos for Valentine’s Day

I know scores of women who would go gaga if their significant other suggested they book a professional photo session to document their love for one another. In most cases guys shy away from posing for the camera, and wouldn’t dream of spending big bucks to hire a pro shutterbug to snap him kissing and cuddling his sweetheart—-even on Valentine’s Day. However, subtract some clothing and his tune might change on a dime. Boudoir photography, which includes intimate images of couples, is a very popular genre. It is intended to be sexy and sensual, but not in a raunchy way. … Continue reading →

October 2010 General Conference-Courageous Parenting

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I have to admit that the idea of being a parent to teenagers terrifies me. Now, let me say, there are definitely things about it that are enticing too. But, for the most part, I’m terrified! Hopefully the years between now and then will provide me with added wisdom and knowledge to help my kids become well-rounded, decent people. I loved the talk in General Conference titled “Courageous Parenting” by Elder Larry R. Lawrence of the Seventy. While I am still a few years away from dealing with some of these issues, it gives me hope to know that we … Continue reading →

What is Unschooling?

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One new hot educational term that some of you may be hearing lately is the word unschooling. There are several different ideas about the meaning of the term unschooling. The most common concept derived from the term unschooling is the idea of educating without school. Some would consider this to be homeschooling. However, unschooling is a little different. The concept is even further from the typical school setting than homeschool. Unschooling takes into consider more of the process of learning rather than teaching content. The learner is more in control and learns based on individual styles, personalities, and choices. The … Continue reading →

“Help me! Help me! And Leave me Alone!”

What parent has not experienced the mixed messages of a child? They want us close; they want us to butt out. They need our help, but they don’t want to admit it. As a parent, it becomes a challenging dance to know when to step in, and when to stand off to the side AND to learn how to interact with our children when they are sending us those mixed messages. The thing with young children is that they tend to be pretty black-and-white thinkers. It is not until a child is nearly grown that he can really tolerate ambiguity … Continue reading →

When the Ex is Self-Absorbed

There are many of us single parents who are divorced or separated who may not have the highest of opinions of the “ex.” We might be convinced that he or she is all sorts of awful and has multiple personality deficiencies—some of which may or may not actually be true. One of the complaints that come up again and again by single parents of both genders is that the other parent or the ex is “self-absorbed.” What does this actually mean and what can we do to make communication more successful? A self-absorbed person is self-focused and believes or acts … Continue reading →

Can we Really be “Hands Off” with the Other Parent?

While not all single parents have another involved parent out there to contend with, many of us do. I have read articles and books that advise a “hands off” policy with the other parent–allowing the other parent to run things his (or her) way while the kids are with that parent. I try to keep my distance and stay on my own turf when it comes to my children’s father, but it definitely is not always easy. There are times when it really seems like we need to discuss things or at least come to some mutual agreement. Of course, … Continue reading →