Do Children of Single Parent Families Really Act Out More?

by Kori Rodley Irons | More from this Blogger

I know that many of us single parents have been on the receiving end of "judgment"--people (teachers, neighbors, family member, etc.) who blame just about everything and anything that might go awry with our children as being "because they are from a broken home" or "because of the divorce" or "because you're a single parent." Of course, I don't buy it--I think that there are plenty of reasons that children might "act out" and while the trauma and chaos of a divorce or death might be some of those reasons--there are plenty others that have nothing to do with single parent families.

Like many of you, I read the reports that say that kids from single parent homes turn out just fine and comparable to their two-parent family classmates; and I also read the reports that blame everything from obesity to poor eyesight on single parent families. Which reports are true?

I don't know if generalizing and trying to find one single reason to blame for all the ills of childrearing is helpful at all. I think that there are so many things we single parents can do to help our children not only adjust to our single parent family status, but to thrive. I am of the opinion that children who are able to talk about, express and work through issues that are bothering them--don't NEED to act out (that theory doesn't include teenagers who seem to be hard-wired to act out; it is part of their jobs!). Giving kids the tools to talk about their feelings, helping them feel loved and supported, and paying attention to what is going on--can all help to at least diminish a child's acting out.

Of course, we cannot always control what goes on at school, in the neighborhood, etc. It has been interesting raising my kids as I have often found that they act out less at home then when they are in a boring and oppressive school situation, on a team with a rude coach, etc. I know that sounds as though I'm trying to say I'm perfect but that isn't my point--it's really more of the "what's really going on here and can we talk it out theory."

Like most people, I don't know the "true" answer to whether or not kids from single parent families act out more, but I definitely don't believe it is a "rule" that we all need to accept and carry as a burden. We have more power over the health of our families than that and there are always things that can be done to help a child through a rough patch.

Also: Controversy Over What is a Healthy Family

Combating the Stigma of Divorce and Separation

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