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Your Story is Not Over

My life has gone far from how I planned as a little girl. I always dreamed I’d marry a handsome man who was going to love and take care of our little family forever. Divorce was never in the cards. No one ever gets married thinking they’ll end up divorced, but it happens to a fair number of us regardless of what we planned. The night my ex-husband left I literally thought my life was over. I couldn’t imagine my life with anyone else. I had a child with this man. I didn’t know how I could possibly survive all … Continue reading →

Perspective

A wise man once said, “We can complain that rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” This wise man happened to be an amazing leader of our country during a time when our country was falling apart. Abraham Lincoln had plenty he could complain about. Leading a country that was at war with each other would be daunting for anyone, but he led with grace and chose to see the beauty rather than the destruction. As single parents it is easy to complain. Raising a child alone is tough. Being divorced is a constant challenge. Your … Continue reading →

Don’t Live in the Past

The past month has been a difficult one for me. I’m not exactly sure what triggered it, but I suddenly found myself completely unable to cope with my situation. Seemingly small things appeared as mountains in front of me. I fell into a deep depression. The thought of facing each new day became unbearable. I had incredible support around me. Family and friends were rushing to my aid, but it wasn’t enough to pull me out of this rut I was in. I finally decided to seek some advice from one of my church leaders in hopes of somehow being … Continue reading →

Don’t Let it Get to You

It has been my experience that people don’t always have the nicest things to say about single parents. Despite the fact that over 50% of marriages fail in today’s world, society has kept its jaded view of those of us parenting on our own. People are often quick to judge and be be cruel in the things they say. While these things can be hurtful, it is important to let them roll off. You can’t let them get to you. You are the only one that knows the intimate details of your particular situation. No story is the same; no … Continue reading →

Do Not Let Your Past Define You

We’ve all made mistakes in our lives. What is important is that we are able to move past them and go forward with our lives. They do not define who we are; they are simply bumps in the road to where we ultimately want to be; without them we would not be where we are today. From each mistake made is a lesson to be learned. Perhaps you learned who you don’t want to be. Perhaps it was something smaller. Regardless, you took something away from that decision. You have no control over your past; it cannot be changed, but … Continue reading →

He Loves Me Anyway

It’s been a hard last six months. Okay, it’s been a hard last two years. We’ve had ups and downs – lots of downs – and mostly centered around me and my health (and my frustration about my health). You know what’s amazing to me? My husband loves me anyway. He knows that I can’t be defined by all this stuff that’s happened. He knows that’s not really me. And he knows that if he’s patient, I will return to who I once was. That’s one of the biggest secrets in marriage, I think. We need to look past our … Continue reading →

One Day at a Time

“One day at a time–this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.” So often we let ourselves get stuck in the past. We look back at how things were and we begin to define ourselves by the things that happened to us. It is normal to grieve your marriage, but you can’t dwell on it or you will never move forward. You can’t change … Continue reading →

Privacy vs. Secrecy: How to Foster Intimacy in Your Relationships

Information really is power; how, what, and when to share can have a far-reaching impact on our ability to foster intimacy in our relationships. It is almost a rite of passage, for instance, for a new couple to explore one another’s past—first loves, first kisses, and even the first big heartbreak. These conversations both require and build a significant level of trust, as they reveal how we act and react at our most vulnerable moments. So what does it mean when your partner refuses to share? It can mean many things; the problem, of course, is that we often assume … Continue reading →

We’re Broke! Why Do We Need a Financial Planner? Part 2

Once you have made the commitment to achieving financial independence and have selected your advisor, the next step is the discovery interview. It is at this point that your planner will be attempting to ascertain how you feel about money. While that may sound pretty straightforward, money is a highly charged matter for most of us; it has come to represent many of the key structures of our lives—like security, safety, power, prestige, independence, and even love. In American society, money—how much we have, how we earn it, and how we spend it—has become a stand-in for our moral character. … Continue reading →

Pen and Paper

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I’ve started working on writing again (in-between my long stints of reading) and I’m realizing a disturbing trend that must have started with the dry erase boards (and probably in grade school or perhaps even earlier). It is the limitation of the digital. I grant, it’s not a complete limitation but there is certainly a tendency toward predefined types of marks and predefined layouts of those marks (columns, rows, etc…). I never fully realized how limiting these predefined structures are when working towards creative ends. A couple of weeks ago I had a great conversation with one of my professors … Continue reading →