Do You Have a Vision for Your Family?

by Kori Rodley Irons | More from this Blogger

28 Sep 2007 10:25 PM

We talk a great deal here in the Single Parents blog about adjustment and coping and trying to boost our confidence and self-esteem around our role as single parents. So much of what we focus on has been about "getting through" crisis, transition, and the struggles of single parenthood, I thought it might be encouraging if we focus on ways we can create long-term visions and healthy goals for what sort of family life we'd like to achieve. Having a plan or vision for life as a family, or for our children, is not the exclusive domain of the two-parent families.

The reality is, for those of us who didn't start out as single parents, we may have had a very different idea or vision for what we wanted out of family life. When we were partnered, or when we got married, or with the birth of our first child--we might have had a very clear vision of how we saw ourselves and what we expected. Then, life threw us some curve balls and our family life took a few turns and, perhaps, doesn't look anything like what we imagined way back when. That doesn't mean that we have failed or that we have to relegate ourselves to just getting by--we just need to take the time to create a new vision; a new plan for what we would like to get out of and give to our families.

I have known a few single parents who just couldn't think beyond finding a new partner and getting married again. While I definitely don't think that a single parent should resign himself to living alone and assume that there will never be another partnership, I do think that a vision for our families needs to go beyond depending on someone else to come along and make us happy and whole. Would you like to purchase a house? Go on family vacations? Send your children to college? Start a family business? All of these are dreams and visions that you can make happen yourself. You are the head of your family now and you get to set the tone--having a long-term vision can help to re-bond and galvanize your family as it is now, and get you going in the direction of your dreams.

Also: Making the Tough Decisions and Choices--On Your Own

Boost Your Single Parent Confidence

Making Decisions Under Stress

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