Search Results for: blog dos and donts of single parenting

Single Parenting: Look In the Mirror (For Single Moms Only)

Single parenting takes its toll on us. Hey, we cannot help it, or can we? Take a good look in the mirror. Do not get too close, however. We have to cut ourselves some slack, you know. You probably look tired and worn out and rightly so. If you think that there is nothing that you can do about it, you are wrong. Allowing yourself to become disheveled and dumpy will only drag you down even more. First of all, you have to find a quiet time to do this. Maybe when the kids go to sleep? Okay, if that … Continue reading →

On the Road Again, Parenting on Vacation–Part Two

I introduced my take on vacation parenting by posing the age-old question–Just because you can travel with your children, should you? In my own childhood, we never once took a family vacation. My parents weren’t ogres, but they were busy, working-class people and since we lived in the country on 40-acres, my dad couldn’t see why on earth we would want to go camping or even leave our country paradise during the summer months. So, no vacations. When I grew up, I was determined and dedicated that I would travel with my kids and we would “do” the family vacation. … Continue reading →

Single Parent Travels: Set Expectations

My son is usually a pretty well behaved child. Now I’m not saying that he doesn’t have his moments, because he does. He can get loud and obnoxious, or over excited and rambunctious, lippy and rude; however, that is not he norm. I can usually tell how he will behave on any given day by three things. First, how much sleep he got the night before; second, how he reacts when I wake him up; and third, how he behaves in the first 10 to 15 minutes. Due to the reasons for our travels, where we were going, the stress … Continue reading →

Single Parents Aren’t Perfect–At Least I’m Not

I read a great deal about all the things I “should” do as a single parent. Just like any other aspect of this Western life, it’s quite easy to fall into the trap of feeling like everyone else is doing things much more fabulously than I am—other single parents NEVER say a bad word against their ex-spouse, they ALWAYS have a hot dinner on the table after working all day too. While I strive to do a decent job and am quite comfortable and happy being a single parent, I am SO NOT perfect! The fact is, I sometimes do … Continue reading →

Handling Daddy Questions

If you have gone through a divorce or lost a spouse from death, you will be faced with the day when your child starts asking about daddy. If your child is young, the questions may not come for a while but eventually, they will. Even if your child is quite young when the divorce or death occurred, the day will come, usually after your child starts school, when he or she wants to know where daddy is. Remember, children are very smart and they will notice that other families have daddies while they have none. Without doubt, addressing this issue … Continue reading →

With Child in Tow

As a mom who liked to travel when my child was young, it was often difficult. I had already been through the earlier years when my child was a baby and it was the three of us. That was hard enough, but at least there was another set of adult hands to help out. After it became just the two of us, my child and I, there was a new set of worries. Traveling with my child alone was a frightening concept to me. I had the fear that if something happened to me while we were traveling who would … Continue reading →

Making Adjustments to “Transfer Day”

In the many years that we have been a single parent family and I have shared custody of my three children with their father—we have called the day that the kids go from one house to the other “transfer day.” Transfer day in our world has not been set in stone, however, and we have made changes over the years to our living and custody arrangements as the kids have grown and changed, and both households have evolved and changed as well. The important thing I learned about making changes and adjustments to transfer day—even seemingly minor ones like to … Continue reading →

Being Grateful for the Help We Do Get

It seems to be much more natural for me to focus on what I’m NOT getting from the people and support systems around me. Since I’ve been at this single-parent thing for quite some time, it’s easy for me to feel like I really am doing everything all by myself. Of course, that’s not even close to true. I’ve found that it takes extra effort, but by focusing on how grateful I feel for the help and support I do get, I feel less burdened and am able to experience more joy and pleasure with my parenting. There are all … Continue reading →

Giving Our Children Better Language After Divorce

I remember when our family was first re-arranging itself after “the divorce”–my children were all in the upper elementary grades or in the beginning years of middle school. As I was so caught up in my own process of the legalities of the separation and divorce, the reality and the logistics, and all the other worries and grief of a newly-single parent, even though I tried to pay attention to what my kids were going through too–I wasn’t always perfect at it. One of the things I didn’t realize until my eldest daughter brought it to my attention, was that … Continue reading →

How Smooth is Your “Transfer Day?”

We call it “Transfer Day” in our household–the day of the week that the kids move from one parent’s house to the other. After several years of being a two-household family, it’s definitely gotten much smoother. In fact, in the first couple years after the divorce, when the kids were much younger–I dreaded the chaos and messy-ness of transfer day. But, over time, we’ve gotten it down and things run much more smoothly. Like many divorced/single-parent families, our custody arrangements have not stayed the same over the years. Our reality has been through many morphs and changes due mostly to … Continue reading →