Search Results for: blog effective discipline for single parents

Single Parenting: Good Guy/Bad Guy

Being a single parent, especially if you are the custodial parent, you have to take on the role of being both the good guy and the bad guy on most days. What I mean by this is that most discipline will come from you because your child lives with you and is with you the majority of the time. This is not easy. In a two-parent family where there is both a mother and a father, children who misbehave will often seek the other parent out when scolded for something that they did wrong. They will generally run to the … Continue reading →

1-2-3 Magic – Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 – Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D.

My house gets a little crazy at times. With four strong-willed children, I can go nuts in about thirty seconds flat. Reading “1-2-3 Magic” by Thomas W. Phelan has given me some new direction, and even some new hope, in disciplining my children. I confess I tend to be a lecturer. When one of my children misbehaves, I think if I explain to them why their action was inappropriate, they’ll understand and want to do better. Dr. Phelan explains why this isn’t true. Children aren’t fully able to grasp the implications of their actions, and even when it’s explained to … Continue reading →

Discipline Do’s and Don’ts

As parents we are always looking for more effective techniques that show us how to deal with common problems that we all face. Discipline is one of those areas. In the November issue of Parents, they offer five tips for discipline do’s and don’ts. (1) Don’t Bribe— Most of us are guilty of bribing our kids at one time are another to either get them to do something or not do something. Giving our kids rewards for work well-done is okay but we have to resist the urge to reward them in other instances, for example, giving them candy to … Continue reading →

Why Some Older Parents Are Hesitant to Discipline

For some older parents, especially those with one child, discipline can be a dirty word. Although they realize they should be setting limits some are hesitant to do so. Why is this? If you are an older parent with one child, more than likely you and that child will have more than a parent-child relationship– you will be, dare I say it?–friends. It’s only natural since you spend so much time together. And most parents like this feeling. The problem comes in when the child has to be disciplined, and no matter how well-behaved your child is, there will come … Continue reading →

More On Effective Discipline

My most recent parenting class looked at the topic of discipline more closely and even offered seven steps toward more effective discipline that I will provide later. As I am taking this class, I find myself asking questions such as why is effective discipline talked about so much today? Why is it so necessary for us single parents to have a consistent systematic way to train our children? I think that part of the answer to those questions lies with trying to fight today’s microwave culture. What I mean by microwave culture is that with the onset of new technology, … Continue reading →

Discipline is Not a Bad Word

During my last parenting class we discussed discipline and I want to share some of the key points with you. When some people hear the word discipline they shrink back or become very angry. Sometimes these reactions are due to memories of ineffective or even abusive discipline that they may have experienced as a child. Real discipline is not abuse, and it entails much more than just spanking. Discipline is an expression of our love for our children. Discipline sets healthy boundaries and issues consequences when those boundaries are broken. Children are not adults and should not be expected to … Continue reading →

Teaching Kids Self-Denial

I recently attended a symposium which featured a presentation by a childhood behavioral “expert.” Regular readers of this blog know how I feel about so-called “experts,” but this guy had a host of impressive credentials, not the least of which included raising eight children into incredibly successful young adults. Plus, I was very interested in his topic: “Teaching Kids the Art of Self-Denial.” According to the expert, one of the most important “gifts” you can give your child as he develops into an adult is to teach him or her to “routinely deny himself immediate pleasures to achieve future good.” … Continue reading →

To Spank or Not Spank?

Spanking children is one of the most controversial topics in parenting today. About 80% of parents say they have spanked their kids at least once, but as always, the experts are divided. Some say a swat on the behind is harmless, while others claim that it is a form of corporal punishment that should never be used on children. It’s normal for parents to try an array of discipline in their home. What worked for one child may not work for another child and vice versa. It even varies with the same child from day to day. You may find … Continue reading →

ADHD Myths

ADHD is not something I tend to focus on, primarily because it can be controversial with no “winning” side. I have seen kids with severe ADHD and the struggle the parents have in getting them the right help appears overwhelming. It seems there are so many “things” working against them, not the least of which is public opinion. I hear people say things like “Don’t all kids have some kind of ADHD?” My favorite is when people blame ADHD on a lack of spanking. So why does ADHD have a bad rap? Why do so many think it isn’t real, … Continue reading →

You Need to Find a New Best Friend

Friendships are important in our lives and having one or two close confidants is a healthy thing to do for yourself. It is especially important if you are a single parent. Many single parents fall into the trap of trying to make their child their best friend. While it is wonderful to have that close bond and relationship with your child, there are a few things you need to consider. Best friends should not be children. You need adults to talk to, and more specifically someone who might know what you are going through, or be able to offer advice … Continue reading →