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There Will be Days When the Exhaustion is Unbearable

I try to take a positive, encouraging tone when I write here in the Single Parents blog, but someone recently asked me if I wasn’t glossing over some of the realities and challenges of being a single parent. After all, for most of us, it is no walk in the park. I got to thinking that while exhaustion is not something that can be solely claimed by single parents, in my own experience, I never really, truly experienced utter exhaustion until after I became a solo parent… I think it helps to know that nothing lasts forever–even the exhaustion! We … Continue reading →

Exhaustion Impairs Clarity

I do not want to imply that single parents have the market cornered on exhaustion. Parenting, in general, can be incredibly taxing. Add in a full time job (or two), other relationships and responsibilities, and you’ve got a recipe for a fairly frazzled life. However, for single parents where overextension can be the rule rather than the exception, we need to keep in mind that exhaustion can impair our ability to see clearly, make good decisions, and be truly present to meet the challenges of our families. There have been those times when I’ve let myself get so far gone … Continue reading →

Staying Up Too Late, Getting Up Too Early

It is not uncommon for the average single parent to have sleep issues. I think most of us would confess to NOT getting enough sleep on a regular basis but are there things we can do to try to minimize how tired we feel all the time. Perhaps it is just a simple case of staying up too late or waking or getting up too early… It is amazing to me how little decisions like whether or not to stay up and watch that television program can affect a person’s entire sleep schedule and then have influence over how we … Continue reading →

The Value of Vacation

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One of the drawbacks of being a freelancer is that just about every day is a work day for me. If I’m not writing, I’m at the cats-only boarding facility — a job I took mainly so I’d have some work outside the home, and a chance to interact with people. There are many days when I do both. This week, I took two days in a row off. I wrote ahead so my clients would have their projects covered. Time off was scheduled from the cats-only boarding facility. I had absolutely nothing to do. It was great. I didn’t … Continue reading →

Holiday Sleep Loss

Do the holidays leave you feeling rested? Or are you tired from all the extra stuff — the parties, the running around, the shopping, the extra commitments? Sleep can become a problem during the holiday season. Why? Maybe you’ve got more on your social calendar. Maybe you’ve got to squeeze in shopping between work and family time. Maybe you’ve got unresolved issues with family members you’ll be seeing at the holidays — the worry and stress can cause you to lose sleep. Maybe you’re drinking more — parties often mean alcohol, and alcohol can interrupt your normal sleep cycle. So … Continue reading →

Am I a Slacker if I Just Get Tired?

I confessed yesterday in my writing that I have a tendency to wrestle with that “should” voice—the one that haunts me with all those things I let myself think I should and could be doing. Last night, however, I started thinking about how I have a tendency to feel like I’m a slacker if I am not always working, parenting, keeping house, whatever. Since there is always something to do in my single parent world—when I get tired and worn out, it is hard for me NOT to feel like I am being a slacker… The reality for many single … Continue reading →

There Are People Who Are Having a Harder Time

I have found for myself that what keeps me from feeling sorry for myself or getting lost in a sea of single parent self-pity is to simply remember and remind myself that there ARE people who are having a harder time of things. For some reason, it seems to be human nature to get stuck in that “grass is greener” mentality and think that everyone has it better. But that is definitely NOT the case, and there are plenty of people who deserve our compassion and understanding as they have it far worse than we do. You may have heard … Continue reading →

It Might Be Tough—But Single Parents Must Make Exercise a Priority

Time is a premium for single parents, and while we all know that we are supposed to exercise—that it is good for us, helps us de-stress, etc. exercise can be the first thing to go when our schedules get pinched. Single parents need to really put special focus on and carve out time to exercise. It is a habit, however, with multiple benefits. If you really can’t find time for yourself to get some movement into your day—include your kids. I recall when my own kids were 4, 5, and 6—we used to go to the YMCA 4-5 nights a … Continue reading →

Making Decisions Under Stress?

I wrote earlier in the month about how exhaustion can impair our ability to make good, clear decisions. As single parents who are often doing and managing more than the average person, we can have a tendency to let ourselves get run down and so tired, we have trouble thinking clearly and meeting the needs of our families. BUT, we can also be susceptible to a great deal of stress and making decisions under stress can be disastrous. The problem is, however, we often cannot put off making decisions and solving big issues, just because we are stressed out or … Continue reading →

Why “Sending” a Child to the Other Parent for Behavior Issues is a Bad Idea

I don’t know how many times I have heard of single parents who “send off” a child when he or she gets to be an adolescent or teenager to the other parent because of behavior issues. How often have we heard someone say “I can’t handle him/her, maybe the mother/father can straighten him out!” Parenting an adolescent can be challenging whether you are a single parent or not–but sending him or her off and banishing him to the other parent’s house seldom makes things better. Now, I am definitely an advocate of co-parenting and sharing responsibility with your child’s other … Continue reading →