Search Results for: blog feeling judged by other single parents

When the World Seems Un-Single Parent Family-Friendly

Things have changed in the world and it is definitely “easier” to be a single parent these days, at least it there is normally an environment that seems more hospitable to single parent families here in the United States. The reality of taking care of a family as a solo parent is still tough, but many of us have found more support and understanding for our situation. Even with these changes, however, there can still be those times when things do not feel so hospitable and the world seems pretty un-single parent family-friendly. Fortunately, there are things we single parents … Continue reading →

Normalizing Life in the Single Parent Family

Recently, one of my kids’ friends commented that our family was the most “normal” household she knew of. I couldn’t help but feel incredibly tickled. After all, in many ways our family is definitely outside the norm—bustling household of older teenagers, overseen by a forty-year-old long single mom who works mostly from home and at creative, non-traditional type jobs. We never know how many will be around for dinner and I’ve been a single parent for so long I can barely remember any other way of doing things. But, I think it is safe to say that for many of … Continue reading →

Feeling Judged By Other Single Parents

As much as it may seem like we single parents would be a “club” since we have our single parenthood in common—that does not always prove to be the case. In fact, I have found that while we should have a lot to commiserate and support each other about, often some of my toughest critics—have been other single parents… I am not sure what it is about—maybe parents are somewhat competitive and apt to compare themselves to other parents, regardless of whether they are single parents or not. But, I think the experience of feeling like a minority or “outside” … Continue reading →

Who Am I to Judge?

It seems to be human nature to judge—whether we are judging other people, situations or events. As a single parent, sometime our jugmentalism comes from a place of feeling defensive or self-conscious. I know that I wrestle with catching myself judging other people and often it is somehow a reflection of my own feeling about myself. I have to remind myself that I definitely do not like being on the receiving end and feeling so judged, so who am I to judge others? I think it is incredibly typical for us as single parents to develop a thick shell and … Continue reading →

What If I Was Being Evaluated?

I heard a very young woman talking the other day about how she was working to “get her children back”–obviously the Department of Human Services had taken her children and she had attended parenting classes. Now, she was having supervised visits and her take on the experience was that she was being “evaluated” to see if she was fit to parent full time. It got me to think about myself as a single parenting–what I do well and what I do not; and I wondered how I would feel and how I would fair if I was being evaluated? I … Continue reading →

Top Ten Adoption Myths, Part Two

Continuing yesterday’s blog on the top ten myths I hear about adoption: 6. Myth: Social workers will make surprise visits to my home. Reality: Most of our homestudy took place at the agency office. There was one required—and scheduled—visit to our home. Most of our time was spent talking in the living room. The only other room the social worker asked to see was the room where we planned for the child to sleep. We did not have to have this room prepared. She only wanted to make sure there was “enough space”—and she judged that what I considered to … Continue reading →

When Friends Judge Your Kids (or Your Parenting)

Everybody is an expert, right? Especially when it comes to parenting (or work, housekeeping, dating, marriage, etc.)! Actually, I’m being a little over-the-top, here, but the reality is that as parents, we are sometimes in the position of feeling judged by family and friends. In my own situation now, my kids are no longer cute. In fact, they can be downright snarky, unpleasant, gangly, and rude. They are teenagers, for goodness sake. Of course, I also think they are amazing and fascinating and energizing and I am enjoying watching them struggle and evolve into individual adults. I do have some … Continue reading →

Will This Couple Stay Together?

When we go to a wedding or hear about an engagement, we all wonder will they make it? Will that couple stay together? We’ll think about all the things they’ve done together and all the things they’ve shared and we think about it. We can’t help it, especially those of us who have grown up seeing our parents, parents of our friends divorcing. I, myself, grew up raised by a single mother and my grandmother. My grandfather died before I was born and I never knew my father. A study was discussed recently in Psychology Today that found many a … Continue reading →