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Learning Marriage from Your Parents

I was raised with somewhat progressive views on marriage.  It feels strange to even be typing that, and it’s certainly nothing I ever thought growing up.  I know that on the overall spectrum of views on marriage, the ideals with which I was raised would only be in the middle, and probably closer to the conservative side of the middle.  But it’s still so surprising to me how many people aren’t even that far. I’ve already shared my story about my college roommate.   The reason she and her boyfriend didn’t talk for years about division of labor in the household, … Continue reading →

I’m So Much More Than Single

What is the most important part of your title as a single mother? Which really defines you? Are you single first and a mother second, or are you a mother first? For me, it’s always about Hailey, my real identity is as her mother, being single in not even in the top ten words that are part of my identity. I am a mother, daughter, sister, friend, valued employee, writer, quilter, voracious reader, animal lover and a creative baker. I just happen to be single. Being single doesn’t define me yet too many times that becomes who I am. I … Continue reading →

Grandparents as Single Parents

Anyone will tell you that raising children alone is hard. Raising children is hard no matter how many parents live in the home. These kids did not come with an instruction manual so we are all just winging it and hoping for the best. Every day is a new challenge and sometimes I don’t feel up to it but you just have to keep moving forward. I don’t know about you, but at my age I can’t imagine starting over with little ones, especially by myself, but it happens every day. More and more grandparents are raising their grandchildren due … Continue reading →

The Importance of Grandparents

I recently read an article describing a study conducted by BYU about the importance of grandparent involvement in the lives of children. The researchers interviewed 400 children between the ages of 10 and 14 years old. After one year they found that those who had direct involvement from grandparents were kinder to others outside of their immediate family and friends; and in some cases smarter. Is it actually possible that our children are kinder as a result of having their grandparents involved? According to this study there seems to be a strong correlation. Looking back, this doesn’t really surprise me. … Continue reading →

Single By Design?

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Is single parenthood hereditary or contagious somehow? It seems to me that once the single parenthood train gets rolling, it’s hard to stop. My father was killed in Vietnam when I was three, so single parenthood was forced on my mother. Now all of my mother’s daughters are single parents. One of my nieces is also a single parent. My brothers are both still married. What does this say about the women in my family? Have we learned by example? It’s been said that we gravitate to what is familiar, is this what is happening to our families? No longer … Continue reading →

Grandparents Day Scrapbook

Sunday is Grandparents Day. Do you have a gift picked out? If you are short on cash and creativity, then consider these tips to create a one-of-a-kind scrapbook for your child’s grandparents: Photos: Forget about cramming 200 photos into a single book. The task will take forever, cost a ton and lead to unwanted frustration. Instead, select a few of your favorite photos of your children and their grandparents and if you really want to include others, then place them in divided plastic pages at the end of the finished book. Memorabilia: A huge part of scrapbooks is the nifty … Continue reading →

Valentine’s Day for Single Parents

Is Valentine’s Day only for lovebirds? I don’t think so. Should single parents be frustrated with being single on a day that focuses so heavily on couples? I hope not. I think that Valentine’s Day can be a fun day for us and our children. While it may be a reminder of being in a romantic relationship, the red hearts showing up everywhere shouldn’t have a negative impact on single parents. If you are happy being single on other days of the year, you should also be happy on Valentine’s Day. If you are looking for someone to enter into … Continue reading →

Christmas Showdown: Parents vs. Toy Packaging

Some call it “wrap rage,” others call it a nuisance; I like to refer to it as a parent’s worst nightmare. Moms and dads with young children, you know the pain I am describing: The agony of liberating new toys from their plastic packaging. It used to be that on Christmas morning all a parent needed nearby was a camera, a pad and pen to jot down who gave what to whom, and maybe, maybe, a single pair of scissors to release a few stubborn pieces of tape. (Though, if someone in the family had sharp teeth you could skip … Continue reading →

Parents and Christmas Firsts

Like it or not the holidays make people very nostalgic. It’s hard for some parents not to think of their son or daughter’s first Christmas when hanging stockings or trimming the tree. Then, there’s the tidal wave of memory triggers that come to us via the media. For example, if I see that TV commercial about the mom being “forced” to buy her daughter a new cellphone plan because “it’s the first Christmas that she won’t be home,” I’m going to hurl. Do you remember the first Christmas your child didn’t spend with you? I can’t imagine it’s a very … Continue reading →

Single Parents and That Long Winter Break

Just this week I was listening to a colleague talk about the struggle of trying to figure out what to do with a preschooler during the long winter break from school. This is someone who has a spouse and just one child and they are STILL struggling and juggling trying to keep the child care covered this time of year. While I smiled, I remembered my own history of three children, my own single parent status, and that long 2 ½ week winter break… Time off from school can really be tough on a single parent. We have to try … Continue reading →