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You are in Charge of YOUR Feelings

Kids are a handful. If you’re a single mom, you know that all too well. While my son and I have a very close relationship, there are times when he makes me want to rip my hair out. He’s four, that happens sometimes, it’s in their nature to misbehave and test their boundaries here and there. I have found myself saying, “Logan you are making Mommy really frustrated right now!” However, I realized just how wrong I really was. Yes, I am extremely frustrated with his behavior, but ultimately I am the one choosing to feel frustrated. He can’t “make” … Continue reading →

Finding Your Strength

I have a dear friend who has struggled through an abusive marriage. After finding the courage to separate from him she found herself pregnant with twins and went back in hopes of keeping her family together, despite her controlling husband. As I watched her struggling to keep things together I couldn’t help but think of my own separation experience. I remembered that desperation to keep my family together, I can only imagine if I had found myself pregnant in the midst of that. It brings on a whole new set of trials. In the beginning I would have taken him … Continue reading →

Giving Yourself Time to Heal

When I was going through my divorce I remember feeling like I had felt every emotion in the book in a matter of days. One minute I would feel relief, the next I was angry, hurt, frustrated, confused, depressed, and then I would start all over again. I was on an emotional rollercoaster that I couldn’t get off of. I’d start to deal with one emotion and then before I knew it I was on to the next even before I had begun to deal with the first. I was so overwhelmed with all of the feelings I was feeling … Continue reading →

Grieving Your Marriage

Whether the divorce was wanted or not it is still ok to grieve what could have and should have been. We all want nothing more than for our kids to have their parents together, to have what I like to call that “fantasy family,” the one where you and your kids all live happily ever after. When I first got divorced, no one could understand why I was so devastated. The marriage had been a disaster long before it had even started. I was miserable and didn’t even realize it, but I wanted it back. I did not want to … Continue reading →

Supporting Your Spouse through Grief

We all experience grief at some point in our lives—it’s part of being alive and human, having emotions, and loving. At times, the husband and wife will both go through the same grief—losing a child or the lesser pain of losing a badly needed job or a loved home. Other times, one spouse will go through a personal grief not quite as deeply felt by the other. In both circumstances, they need each other. If you are the spouse who is grieving, share what you need with your partner. Don’t expect him to just know what you’re going through. He … Continue reading →

What is Your Marriage Worth?

Can you put a monetary value on happiness? Apparently you can, according to Professor Paul Frijters. The man, named best Australian Economist under 40 years of age, has attempted to put a monetary value on major events in people’s lives. What is interesting when you read the figures he has come up with is the difference between how major events affect women and men. Take marriage for example. The monetary value Professor Frijters has on marriage for a woman is +$15,600. The monetary value of marriage for a man is pegged at +$31,600. The monetary value of the birth of … Continue reading →

Tips for Dealing with Stress in Marriage

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We’d all like life to be great all the time but the reality is, at times, life is stressful. It’s how we deal with stress that matters. Yesterday, we looked at the effects excess alcohol can cause in a marriage. But the reason a spouse usually drinks to excess, could be because they are trying to find a way to deal with stress. Stress is something that affects all marriages at time, whether it is financial stress, illness, job related, death of a loved one, or family issues – the list is endless. Alcohol never solves problems but actually can … Continue reading →

Marriage in a Disposable Society?

Are we susceptible to the disposable society syndrome? Last week we went to look at the price of a new printer. The printer we were looking at was $99AU. The printer cartridge to go in it was $219AU! ‘That’s ludicrous,’ I said. ‘It’d be cheaper just to keep buying a new printer.’ Mick agreed, it’s a crazy system. It made me think we have become a disposable society. Sadly that attitude carries over into our marriages as well. It sometimes seems when couples strike a rough patch and things aren’t going well or the gloss has gone off the marriage … Continue reading →

11 Tips for Helping a Grieving Spouse

If someone your spouse loves, like a parent or close friend, dies, how can you help them? Here are some tips. 1. Remember how you felt if you were in a similar position but don’t expect necessarily that your spouse will react the same way you did in grief. 2. Show your love for your grieving spouse, even if you don’t know what to say or you’re frightened of getting upset or upsetting them more. Just be there for them. It doesn’t matter if you get upset. It might even help. 3. Let your spouse talk about their loved one. … Continue reading →

You, Your Kids and Divorce: Coming Back

Divorce is difficult on everyone. It is a loss, but one that must be dealt with. Coming back to some stability after a divorce is a process. You are either feeling angry with your former spouse, responsible or hurt. It only he had not done that to our family. If only I had been a better person. You might even feel a little bit of all of the above. Either way it is time to pick yourself back up and go on with life for the children’s sake especially. Start with you. Make a vow to treat yourself well. You … Continue reading →