Helping Your Child with "Thank You" Notes to the Other Family

by Kori Rodley Irons | More from this Blogger

It has always been hard enough getting myself and my children motivated to "do thank you notes" after the holidays, but for single parents, it might be even tougher working on those notes to former in-laws and extended family members that belong to your child's "other" family. Not only can motivation be a challenge, but figuring out just what to say and remaining neutral and supportive of your child can be hard too...

This is one of those times when we have to focus on the child and what is best for his character development, self-esteem and comfort level. I think we have to put our own issues away for the time being and treat "thank you" note writing as something that is done for everyone who gave a gift regardless of whether they are part of "your" family or the child's "other" family. It can take years for children to fully grasp the importance of this activity and learn the skills, tact and care for writing great notes. As parents, our job is to help them learn these things and focus on the etiquette and manners of the process, not the personal history and family stressors. After all, the child is learning to be appreciative for the gift and the thought-regardless of whether it comes from our favorite people or not.

I also think this is one small way that single parents can work on being more neutral about ex-relatives and our children's extended relations-and we can work on letting go of our own baggage and issues as well. It may seem like it is "just writing thank you notes"-but it can be a healing lesson for us as well as a good character development activity for our child. Our mature modeling can be an opportunity for everyone involved (and the receivers of the "thank you" cards will be appreciative too!)

Also: Present Circumstances or Past Issues?

Coming to Peace with the Past

Thank You Notes Get Jobs

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