How Do You Do It?: Single Parent Survivalby Angel Lynn Diamond | More from this Blogger 27 Mar 2009 07:53 PM People who single parent are often asked this question, "How do you do it?" Well, let me see. Is there a choice? You just do it. I guess there is a choice logically speaking. You could curl up in a ball and crumble. Run for the hills. Give your children away. Pretend it never happened, sit back, do nothing, and watch your house and kids be taken from you. You see, really, what choice is there? I suppose that there are people who would do those things, but most people would do what they had to do to take care of their families. I am not saying that single parents do a bang up job, but sometimes even a two-parent family does not do one either. After all, we are all human. What I am saying is that you swallow really hard, take a deep breath, pull out all of your resources, and forge onward. That is the only direction that can be taken as going backwards will only lead to defeat. Single parenting may be something that you have been forewarned about ahead of time or it might come rather unexpectedly. Whatever the case may be a newly single parent will have to go through, of course, the adjustment period. The first thing that you must do is think. You must come up with a master plan. You can start with a day-by-day plan initially, as this whole concept will be overwhelming to you, but you will adjust. When this plan has settled in and working even semi well, you can start a more widespread plan that includes not just this week, but the weeks to come, and even years to come. Pull out all of your resources. Find out where you can get additional help financially. Family and friends may offer to help with the kids....let them. You will be exhausted. If they do not offer, ask the ones that you feel closest to. Offer in exchange to help them do things that are difficult for them or enlist the help of your children. There is usually that one family member or good friend who becomes a leaning post for you, your beacon of light either in a physically helpful way or in an emotionally supportive type of way. Lean, but do not lean too hard and wear out your post/beacon. Give them some breathing space lest they will possibly disappear due to overburdening. There is a light at the end of the tunnel; you just have to go through the darkness first. Angel Lynn writes in weight loss, single parenting, and health. Learn more about Angel Lynn Diamond  I am a mom to my precious one and only, a nurse in a heartwarming adult living facility, and a freelance writer. Relevantsingle parenting tags User Comments Laguna1016 (25) 30 Mar 2009 07:45 PMI give out a hand to any single parent ! That is not a easy job but no means at all!!! My mother is a single mother and also was a full time student while my brother and I where still in school. A lot of help is need with a single parent. There were many of nights my mom couldnt get home early enough to cook dinner or pick us up from school, but we where never left alone. She always made sure we had a place to go. Money wize...I dont know how she did it all. She never let us blieve that there were any problems at home. She knew if she looked worried we would get worried. Nothing is wrong with being raised by a single parent. In my thoughts I believe it makes you a stronger and more oragnized person. AngiS (15) 02 Apr 2009 12:42 PMI discovered that I was going to be a single parent when I told my sperm donor (better known as the loser I dated for five years) that I was pregnant. But, I was making a good income (I made double what her father made.) and I had great benefits and ample money in savings. Well, after a near miscarriage, a diagnosis of lupus, and pre-eclampsia - and being put on bedrest from the 12th week until the 36th week (when she was delivered because my condition got worse), I didn't have a lot of money left. Then, I developed complications from the c-section and ended up staying in the hospital for almost 20 days. I now tell people who say they are planning a pregnancy to make sure they have a Plan B (and maybe even C and D!!!), because where babies are concerned - you just never know. I've since been declared disabled and my daughter is 5 years old and worth everything I went through. I agree with the first post, "you just do it." I've lived on $236 a month. Granted, I managed to obtain a low income apartment that had just been built and I have great family support. This is not the way I planned it, but it has taught me many great lessons - the most important of which is that I can make it and I can take care of myself and my daughter, regardless of what happens. Discuss this article
|
Single Parents categories |
