Search Results for: blog how flexible do you have to be with your custody arrangements

Still A Part Of The Family

Recently I was reminded of what co parenting looks like when the entire extended family makes it work. Being a single mom I usually only look at things from my point of view but this weekend I got the chance to look at this as a relative instead of the single parent. My best friend’s son and his wife are divorced, their son is three. I think that Sarah and Tyler have done a wonderful job of co parenting their son. This little boy seems happy, well adjusted and well loved. When he is with us he is the apple … Continue reading →

Synchronize Calendars

Even if you have only one child, if you are sharing custody or trying to coordinate visits with a non-custodial parent, scheduling and communication take center stage. The best way that I have found to make sure everybody on both sides of the family know what is going on is to make sure that we periodically compare notes and synchronize our calendars. I do not want to give the impression that I am perfect or that things do not fall through the cracks. With three kids and two households, it is fairly tough to keep everyone on the same page, … Continue reading →

When They Say They Want to Live with the Other Parent

If you have been a single parent for any length of time, eventually you will likely hear your child express that he or she would be much happier if only he could “go live at mom or dad’s house!” For some kids this is an idle threat—used in a moment of frustration or anger; but for others they really do feel an urge and a pull to go live at the other house. As the parent, you may have mixed feelings and wonder what is best, right, and even what is possible? There is no simple reason why or answer … Continue reading →

Two Houses, One Pet

What happens when kids who share custody time between two parents have pets? Do the pets go with the kids, or stay at one house? What is best for the kids and what is best for the pet? My kids have pets at my house and none at their dad’s. It is really basically because their dad is not terribly pet-friendly and I have always had pets. I know, however, that in their “dream world” the pets would stay with them at both houses. I think my eldest daughter would even be happier if her fish could travel with her … Continue reading →

Is There Room in Your Custody and Parenting Plans for Unscheduled Time?

I know that every family is different and some of us have much more structured parenting plans and custody arrangements than others. But, I think that there are also times in a child’s life when flexibility might be in order. Just because the calendar says that he has to be at dad’s house, shouldn’t mean that he can’t have some “unscheduled” time with mom if the need arises. For some families, it can take a while to get to a place where unscheduled time is even possible, but I do think it needs to be a consideration as you try … Continue reading →

What Do You Do With Your “Free Days”?

It took me a long time to get used to those days when my kids went to their father’s house. At first, it was just weekends, but after being with my kids almost non-stop for years, it seemed strange, quiet, lonely and (I admit) a bit of a relief to have some kid-free time. Now that my kids are older and it’s been years of single parenting, I have gotten somewhat used to not having them with me all the time, but they are also on more flexible schedules now so I am seldom completely kid-free. But, for many of … Continue reading →

Two Sets of Rules

One of the big complaints and issues for divorced or separated parents, or family situations where there are two houses for a child to go back and forth to—is that there are two sets of rules and this can be confusing for a child. I know that in the early years of my “two-house family” I tried hard to make sure that there was consistency and to minimize the confusion. My kids were much younger and I thought that it would be in their best interest to have at least the rules, bed times, expectations, etc. be uniform in both … Continue reading →

This May be a Hard Time for the “Summer Only” Parent

We often write about single parenting from the point of view of those single parents who see their kids often and have the primary role and responsibility of parenting. But there are so many different kinds of custody arrangements out there. Some single parents are “summer only” single parents–the child or children arrive at the end of the school year and after three months, just when things start to settle in, it is time for the separation again and sending everyone back to the way things are for the school year. It can be challenging to be a long-distance parent … Continue reading →

Keep Your Legal Stuff Up-to-Date

Single parent families usually have a bit more going on in terms of legal records and documents than a two-parent home. Many of us have divorce papers and decrees and legal custody documents that are part of our family papers. We also may have life insurance policies and other insurance documents. These are all not the sort of papers to be looked at once and put away. As our families grow and change, we may need to update our legal papers too. I have found over the years that I have needed to keep my legal divorce decree handy. I … Continue reading →

Make Sure to Plan for Emergencies

As single parents, we can get so wrapped up in just keeping all the balls we’re juggling in the air—caring for our child, work, household responsibilities—planning for emergencies can fall through the cracks. Sometimes, every day life can feel like such a crisis, it’s hard to imagine there could be “more” of an emergency out there! It is doubly important for single parents to make sure they have back-up and emergency contacts—just in case… Your child’s school, day care, or any place that he or she goes to play or “hang out” after school should have the emergency information. Who … Continue reading →