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Single and Loving It

I’ve never been very good at being single. From the time I was a teenager I was convinced that my life was just not complete unless I had a boyfriend by my side. Luckily I’ve grown out of that and learned to embrace my singlehood, but it has taken time to get here. After my divorce I wasn’t sure how to be single anymore. I couldn’t remember the last time I was single. It wouldn’t have mattered much anyways, being single with a child is far different than being single without. My life still revolves around my son the way … Continue reading →

Saying No Can Bring More Joy Into Your Life

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I struggle with saying no to people, including myself. Once I became a single mother I was determined to do the best job I could so that my child would not suffer from being raised in a single parent household. Part of that determination was feeling like I had to be everything to everyone. I never said no when someone asked for help. I never said no when Hailey wanted me to stop what I was doing and entertain her. I never said no when I would tell myself to just keep going, people live perfectly well on five hours … Continue reading →

I’m So Much More Than Single

What is the most important part of your title as a single mother? Which really defines you? Are you single first and a mother second, or are you a mother first? For me, it’s always about Hailey, my real identity is as her mother, being single in not even in the top ten words that are part of my identity. I am a mother, daughter, sister, friend, valued employee, writer, quilter, voracious reader, animal lover and a creative baker. I just happen to be single. Being single doesn’t define me yet too many times that becomes who I am. I … Continue reading →

Single Parenting: A Single Parent Is………

The other day I had an interesting conversation with someone regarding single parenting. We were talking about our kids and our discussion led to single parenting. She said that even though she was married and had been all of her life, her life was that of a single parent. Even though I think the world of this person, this disturbed me. She said that even though she had a spouse that lived with her that he was not involved in any parenting issues. Her marriage, she stated, was wonderful, but her children were more apt to come to her rather … Continue reading →

Single Parenting and Your Growing Child: It is Time for the Talk

Single parenting, oh the joys! Another job that we cannot pawn off on anyone else and that is “The Talk”. It helps if you are divorced in this case and the other parent is involved, but what if there is no other parent? Yes, I am afraid to tell you, you are it, again. Talking to your kids about growing up is probably one of the least favorite things that you will do as a parent. It is not too uncomfortable for the parent, but it is usually uncomfortable for the child. Because it is uncomfortable for them, we are … Continue reading →

Can You Get Your Kids to Stop Worrying About What Others Think?

Peer pressure is brutal. As parents, we may have done everything we can think of to bolster our children against the realities of peer pressure only to be disappointed to find that our child is still succumbing to worrying about what everyone else is saying and doing. Is there anything we parents can do to get our child to NOT be so concerned with what other people think? I think I am asking the question of questions for parents; one that parents have been asking themselves for decades (if not centuries). There is something about the socialization of the human … Continue reading →

Does Being Single Make You Feel Unconnected?

Recently, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who is also single but who does not have children. She shared that being single made her feel like she was “floating” and unconnected. It made me think about my own experience as a single parent and while I do occasionally long for more attachment or for another adult who actually knows and cares what I am up to, having children to care for makes me feel rather grounded and connected indeed. I had to search way back in my memory banks to when I was first separated and … Continue reading →

Stress and Your Immune System

I’ve been stressed lately. Really stressed. It’s a combination of a lot of things coming to a head all at once, and the end result is that I’m cranky and I’m having trouble sleeping. Then I noticed another weird thing. My hands are sporting quite a few nicks and scratches from my part time job at the cats-only boarding facility. And those little wounds are taking a long time to heal — much longer than normal. That got me wondering how stress affects the immune system. In the short term, stress can actually boost your immune system. That “fight or … Continue reading →

How Much of Your Identity is “Parent”?

I wrote earlier today about the role that the label “single” can play in our lives as single parents. I could not help but think that in the quest for fairness, we should explore how much of a role our identity as parents plays for us, and whether we have a hard time balancing our “single” status with our “parent” status (and all the other roles we play as well)? Being a parent is probably more central to my personal identity than being single is. I would even say that being a parent is one of the most grounding and … Continue reading →

How Much of Your Identity is “Single”?

When I am writing my articles for the Single Parents blog, I seldom write the word “single” without it being followed by the word “parent(s)”–for those of us who ARE single parents, we might find that the label of “single” either fits or does not feel like it describes our existences well at all. Our identity may involve so many things that while the rest of the world may be judging us solely on whether we are “coupled” or not, we might or might not agree… Even though the numbers prove that there are many, many single adults–both parents and … Continue reading →