Kid's Pressure to be Cool

by Renee Dietz | More from this Blogger

05 Nov 2006 09:07 PM

No matter what school your child attends, chances are he or she is feeling pressure to be "cool". While being cool is okay to a certain degree, when it means dressing wrong, talking wrong, treating people badly, or misbehaving, then being cool is not cool at all. Today, we see several groups of kids, each requiring that members of the group fit in. For instance, the gothic group would expect dark clothing and hair, the preppy group would expect conservative clothing, and the jocks' group would consist of only athletes, and so on.

Although groups in school go back as far as anyone can remember, it is important that you watch to make sure your child not go to extremes to fit into anyone of them. Sadly, peer pressure is difficult. We see kids as young as 12 walking around schools with piercings or high-end designer clothes. Watching television and looking at magazines only spurs the kids on.

Being a single parent is tough enough but then when you also need to pay more attention to your child to ensure he or she is not put under too much pressure, the responsibilities can be tough. I remember when my daughter started high school. She had always been a very individual person, having her own style and taste. I love that in her but I had to provide a little more guidance on what is and is not acceptable. For her, unfortunately some of the punk kids figured she was into drugs because of her free spirit but because she never did drugs, she had to be careful not to be pressured to try them.

Kids will naturally try to live up to certain standards as a means of fitting in or being in control. However, when pressure becomes so much that your child now wants to wear $200 jeans or dye the hair purple, it is time to step in. Finding the balance between letting your child be an individual and getting carried away due to pressure is very tough. What I recommend is to stay involved.

Encourage your child to try several different activities or organizations. For my daughter she was not only a dancer for 12 years but she also did amazingly well in volleyball and excelled at debate. Interestingly, I remember her debate coach was not so sure that she would be a good debater, based solely on her dress. When she realized that she would have to tone down slightly, she did. For me, I provided her with some guidelines and boundaries, without criticizing her.

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Learn more about Renee Dietz

I have been a successful, published writer for the past 26 years, offering a writing style that is informative, creative, and reader-friendly.

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beannie842002 (1396) 05 Nov 2006 08:34 PM

I know how this feels, if felt like that when i was in school. I know that some people don't really regonize that their kids is trying to fit into a group. We should pay attention to these things and relize that this is what is going on in our kids lives.

Renee Dietz (964) 13 Nov 2006 04:17 PM

Thank you for your comment. I too was picked on and remember how I was swayed just trying to fit in. Thank goodness, I turned out well. I think as parents, we need to understand these pressures and encourage our kids. Renee :)