Learning Not to Repeat Mistakes

by Renee Dietz | More from this Blogger

While people who have gone through a divorce have a good idea of what went wrong, most move on in life only to repeat some of the same mistakes. One of the problems is that divorced people rarely allow themselves adequate time to heal. Even when couples have been separated for two years, once the divorce is final, they still need time to get past some of the hurt and anger.

Remember, after the divorce, you want to be a better person - for you, the children, and your future. In addition, not taking adequate time to heal does the children no good in that they too are injured emotionally. Therefore, the best way to get a good handle on life is to learn ways of not repeating the same, hurtful, and damaging ways.

For many divorced people, some type of intervention is required. This might be through friendships, family support, and in some cases, through professional counseling. Regardless, taking the opportunity to get and accept help is definitely a step in the right direction. Although this might be painful to go through, once you get on the other side, you will be glad you did.

To change so you do not repeat the same mistakes, you have to be aware. You need to dissect the dysfunctional relationship that just ended with completely honesty. This might mean you admitting where you failed instead of throwing all the blame on the ex-wife or ex-husband. Even if that person had a greater percentage of fault, you too had areas where things did not go well. Being able to identify these weaknesses is a powerful step to recovery. Honesty can be hard but it is imperative for moving forward.

Finally, find a mentor, someone who has a strong marriage or a person who has gone through a divorce virtually unscathed. Listen to this person, learn from his or her own experiences, and then while maintaining self, learn to mirror some of the behaviors. Remember, divorce takes a time of recovery. However, by looking at things with an open heart and eye and being willing to make changes, you can move on and not keep doing the same mistakes time after time.

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Learn more about Renee Dietz

I have been a successful, published writer for the past 26 years, offering a writing style that is informative, creative, and reader-friendly.

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