Search Results for: blog learning to trust our own judgment

Spying, Trust, and Checking Up

As kids get older, one of the ongoing arguments or debates that parents and children tend to have is the “You don’t trust me—It has nothing to do with trust” argument. Back and forth it goes as children strive for independence and parents try to find that balance between trusting and letting go, AND being responsible and involved parents. It can be confusing for some of us to know where to draw the line and what is okay—where do we really stand on spying, checking up, and trust? There are so many things about parenting that can bring up our … Continue reading →

Allowing Your Own Parenting Style to Emerge

One of the gifts that can happen upon becoming a single parent is that we no longer have to adhere to the same parenting style we used when we were part of a marriage or another situation. We may have developed a style that was reactionary, or made up for things lacking or we may have been able to avoid dealing with things like discipline or nurturing because the other parent “took care of that.” While change is seldom easy, single parenthood can provide us with the opportunity to discover and allow a more authentic version of our parenting style … Continue reading →

Learning to Trust Our Own Judgment

As single parents, we don’t have another spouse or partner as a sounding board or someone to help us make “joint decisions” on a regular basis. One of the things we have to learn to do is to trust our own judgment in making personal and parenting decisions. It can be so common to second-guess ourselves or let our heads fill with doubt. But as the solo parent, we have to learn to have confidence in our ability to make even the biggest decisions. Of course, this doesn’t mean we need to isolate and make all the decisions in private. … Continue reading →

Dealing with your own negativity

In Dealing with negative people, we looked at strategies for coping with negative friends, family and co-workers. Negative people can really sap your happiness levels and over time really bring you down. But what if you are the negative one? How can you change yourself so that you attract people to yourself rather than repel them with your constant moaning and criticizing? The first step in any sort of change is recognizing that you have a problem. If you realize that you are a negative person, congratulations! You have made the most important step in changing yourself into a more … Continue reading →

The Tendency to Overprotect Our Special Needs Kids

As parents of special needs children, we often develop coping strategies to deal with our child’s behaviors. One strategy is the tendency to be overprotective. There’s an obvious reason for doing this. We want to be sure that our son or daughter is safe in an unkind and unpredictable world. People can be cruel, and life is difficult. The child with special needs seems ill-equipped to handle these realities. Therefore, we decide that he or she needs our constant protection. This reasoning makes overprotecting seem like a good thing. However, there are other possible reasons why we might overprotect our … Continue reading →

Worry, Control and Judging

What are the three things that can plaque a mother? It is worry, control and judging. And I would guess these are common issues for most mothers. It doesn’t matter what stage of life you are in, they can swoop in and overtake you. Why do we worry? Sometimes it is out of genuine concern. But other times our worry is based on a lack of trust or that everything won’t turn out exactly the way we think it should. Worry can keep us up at night. It has for me. It can consume you so much that you can’t … Continue reading →

Relieving Tension in the Home

If there is one word that can sometimes describe the teen years, it is “tense.” There can be a lot of tension in the home, especially when you are dealing with certain challenges or disagreements. The reality is that our teens won’t always agree with us and they will almost certainly challenge us to some degree. It is easy to get wrapped up in those moments. It is easy to succumb to the temptations of acting just like them. It is easy to get into a shouting match or suddenly find yourself in a place where you don’t know who … Continue reading →

Scripture Study – 1 Nephi 17:16-20

Nephi has been commanded to build a ship, trusting the Lord to show him what to do. He asked where to find the ore necessary to form the tools he would need, and the Lord led him to the right place. He’s now ready to undertake the next step of the task—making the tools. 16. And it came to pass that I did make tools of the ore which I did molten out of the rock. 17. And when my brethren saw that I was about to build a ship, they began to murmur against me, saying: Our brother is … Continue reading →

Try Not to Be In Such a Hurry to Move Through

Being in crisis or transition–or wrestling with the realities of a single parent trying to provide and care for a child can seem like something we just want to “get through” and master. I know that I used to feel like I wanted to push and shove my way through anything unpleasant and get to a place where I felt stable and secure and competent again. In reality, however, if we push and rush ourselves through life’s transitions, we miss a great deal of the good stuff and we may be forced to repeat lessons until we slow down and … Continue reading →

Let Go of Feeling Like a Victim

Identifying when we don’t feel good about how we are being treated is healthy; it is also wonderful to be able to protect and take care of ourselves (after all, who else can care for us as well as we can care for ourselves)–but getting stuck feeling like a victim can keep us in a powerless, hopeless place and keep us from taking control and moving forward with our lives as parents, and as individuals. In order to get on with building our families, single parents need to let go of feeling like a victim. Yes, you very well may … Continue reading →