Search Results for: blog letting go of the rescue fantasy

Letting Go of the Rescue Fantasy

Let’s face it–many of us were read plenty of fairy tales when we were younger and in those fairy tales, there was generally someone doing the rescuing and someone getting rescued. Usually (but not always) it was the handsome male prince doing the rescuing while the beautiful female princess waited to be rescued. As adults, especially those of us who have been through a separation, death or divorce, we have the opportunity to get past those myths and discover a new way of living–a way of living that does not involve either waiting for someone to come along and rescue … Continue reading →

It is Okay to Admit You have Needs

There is a difference between having needs and being needy–and even if there wasn’t–some of us single parents are in a place where it may be time for us to realize that it is perfectly okay to have needs and it is also okay to be occasionally needy. Who says we have to be strong and stoic all the time or even that having needs means that we are NOT strong and independent? Think of it this way–some very basic things are actually needs: We need food, shelter, health care, etc. We also need things like love, friendship, loving relationships, … Continue reading →

Elements of Mother and Father

Even when our children have two parents in their lives, if we are a single parent running our own household, we are called upon to incorporate all sorts of different “traditional gender” roles into our parenting. We can cling to an idea that we are only this or only that and many of us find that we take on elements of mothering and fathering and become a better-rounded parent… This is not to say or imply that there is anything wrong with those who choose to go the more traditional “mom” and “dad” route and are heading up two-parent homes, … Continue reading →

“Who Fills Your Stocking?”

Just a couple days ago, I was chatting with a group of colleagues about the pending holidays. Someone asked me if I still did “stockings” for my kids even though they were older, nearly-grown teenagers. “Of course!” I answered happily. It was followed up with what appeared to be the accidentally insensitive: “Does anyone fill your stocking?” Well, I admit that I felt that typical momentary self-consciousness that we single parents get used to before I answered with as much self assurance as I could muster: “Nope. I’ve been a single parent for a long time and I’m quite used … Continue reading →