What Lessons Did I Teach

What has divorce taught our children about love? I worry about what my divorce has taught Hailey about love and marriage. Unfortunately, most of the people she knows have been divorced, at least once. What does this teach our kids? When I was growing up all of my friends parents were married, my grandparents, aunts and uncles, were all married, to their original spouses. The only divorced person I knew was my mother. It’s the opposite for Hailey, she knows hardly anyone with an intact family. There are a few here and there but it seems they are the exception … Continue reading

Lessons Learned

My ex husband and I met in high school. I had dated a lot, but being so young, I wasn’t particularly concerned about whether or not they were marriage material; I was too young to get married anyway. I had been warned to make good dating choices, but I was young and inexperienced, so like most teenagers, I didn’t realize the importance of those decisions quite yet. About a year after graduation we decided to get married. Neither of us really knew what we wanted in a spouse, it just seemed like the right thing so we got married and … Continue reading

How to Have a H.E.A.R.T. For Your Children

Product: How to Have a H.E.A.R.T For Your Kids by: Rachael Carman Target Audience: Homeschool Moms Format: Book Publisher: Apologia Cost: $13.00 After being a homeschool mom for nine years I can tell you all about the ups and downs. I can share the tears and the joy. I would tell you that my homeschool is based on God, excellence, and academics. I would tell you my focus is on family and training up young soldiers for God’s army. While I mean every word of it if you came to my house on a trying day you may not see … Continue reading

Preparing for Marriage from Childhood

We all know couples who have gone in for counseling before they get married to help them get their marriages off on the right foot. This kind of preparation is awesome. What we might not realize, though, is that we are actually preparing for marriage from the time we’re born. When we’re toddlers and small children, we internalize how our parents treat us. As we get older, we notice how they treat each other. These examples become our first and most impacting lessons in what constitutes a home and a family. If we were raised in an unloving home, we … Continue reading

Marriage Lessons For Children

Sometimes I worry. Ok, most of the time I worry, but this is a specific worry. What am I, a divorced woman, teaching my daughter about marriage. I’ve been divorced since my daughter was ten. My ex husband and I made a point to never argue in front of our daughter, so she never got the chance to see us work things out either. I want my daughter to have a marriage that we all dream about so I trot out all the tired cliches: Marriage is a life long commitment. Anything worth having, including marriage, is worth working for. … Continue reading

How to Parent Adult Step Children

Almost thirty years ago, Robert married a woman who had five grown children. No big deal, right? They ranged in age from mid-twenties to mid-thirties, so they had all been on their own for many years. They appeared to be well-adjusted, independent, responsible adults. They lived locally, and Robert and his wife socialized with them on a regular basis. So what was the problem? It turns out that there were many, but primary among them was the fact that his wife’s family was, what the shrinks would call, enmeshed. They were ‘all up in’ one another’s business—they spoke to one … Continue reading

Marriage is Like the Sea- Part 2

When I told Mick about my last article he came up with a couple of extra ideas. First he said, ‘So marriage is like the sea because it’s dark and stormy?’ Just as well I know he was joking. Sadly, the reality is for some people that is exactly what it is like. Marriage is a constant battle as each one seeks to get their own way and stormy arguments result. A little bit of give and take is in order in any marriage. Then he mentioned that marriage was like the sea in that there are tides. Ebb and … Continue reading

Marriage and the Single Mentality

One of the things that being married involves is instead of just pleasing yourself and thinking,‘what do I want to do or need to do,’ there is another person to consider. It becomes what do we want to do or need to do. This means that you may not always get to do what you want, because there are other considerations. Sadly, while some people have a piece of paper saying they are married and a wedding ring on their finger, they have not changed their mentality. They still think like a single person. Their plans and schemes still revolve … Continue reading

What Works on the Court and in Marriage

Playing tennis can teach us something about marriage. When Mick and I partner each other at tennis and the opposition drops a short ball I tend to say ‘up, up, up’. He always found it helpful when we played competition tennis. The number of ‘ups’ was indicative of how fast he needed to move on the court. Even though we’re playing social tennis now and enjoy it, we’re still out there to try and win. Throughout the game we encourage each one when one of us hits a good shot and encourage each other to keep going when either of … Continue reading

Marriage During the Great Depression

Yesterday I wrote about how I’m bracing my marriage for a depression. I also admitted that I’m afraid of what’s to come…but that I’m going to face that fear head on and find a way to make all this benefit my marriage. I’m still not entirely sure how I’m going to do that, but I figured knowledge is power so my best bet is to start off arming myself with some of that. Researching the Great Depression If only my grandparents were still alive. Both sets survived the Great Depression. They could advise me how they made it, maybe give … Continue reading