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Helping Kids have a Clearer Vision of both Pregnancy and Parenting

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I’ve recently shared that statistically, as a group, teen mothers who place their babies for adoption fare better (in terms of staying in school and off the welfare rolls, and avoiding another premature pregnancy). I should also say that there are many young mothers who do a very good job of raising their babies. (To see one of our dedicated blogger’s series on being a young parent, click here.) I admit that I used to think two parents were always better than one. I now realize that being adopted does represent a loss for the baby as well as for … Continue reading →

Secret Confession—Sometimes a Good Cry Helps

I know that I have written a bit about mental health for the single parent, and staying positive and confident. These things ARE important and can be especially hard for stressed-out single parents. But, in all fairness, I thought I should make a secret confession…sometimes, there is just nothing more helpful and healing that to have a good, self-pitiful, cry! I have been at this single parenthood/parenthood thing for quite some time and I’ve learned that even the bleakest, most frustrating days are usually followed by something a little more pleasant. Eventually, kids move out of aggravating phases and they … Continue reading →

10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away: Focus Only on the Wrong (Part 2)

In this part of my series on “10 Ways to Push Your Teen Away,” we are going to consider how we as parents can sometimes focus only on the wrong. In other words, we fail to see the good things because we allow the not-so-good things to become greater. Anyone with a teenager has some degree of difficulty. Some teens are just easier than others. And parents can make the mistake of assuming that it is only based on parenting. In other words, if their teen is a good kid they have done something right but if their teen isn’t, … Continue reading →

Fostering Appreciation in the Single Parent Family

It can be easy in a single parent family to see all the things that are “not right” or all the ways that things could and should be better. What can be more challenging, however, is to gather one’s thankfulness and resources and develop a sense of appreciation for all the joys and wonders of the world when one is often struggling just to make ends meet. So, what do I even mean when I start writing about “appreciation”? Back in November I wrote a little about my own “appreciation” around Thanksgiving, but this morning I am thinking of how … Continue reading →

Week in Review: November 12th – 17th

What’s been going on in LDS? Let’s take a look and find out. In “Don’t Judge the Church by the People,” Tristi points out that sometimes the members don’t behave like they should. This doesn’t mean the Church isn’t true, it means that the people in it need to work on their faults. When we confuse the people with the Church, it can be easy to lose our testimonies, and we need to guard against that. Tristi then answers the question, “Why Don’t Mormons Use Crosses?” She explains that members of the LDS Church prefer to focus on the resurrected … Continue reading →

Compassion

When I was writing about appreciation earlier, I realized that the sister to appreciation, and something equally important in the life of a single parent is compassion–compassion towards ourselves, our children, our exes, even those people who are seemingly out to make our lives even more difficult. Nurturing and fostering compassion can make a huge difference in the life of a single parent. I thought of compassion, I think because this was a real big stumbling block for me back in the early years after my separation and divorce and when I was working to rebuild my life. The person … Continue reading →

Appreciation

I woke up this morning feeling grand waves of appreciation. It is definitely not always the case–most mornings I struggle to get my eyes open so I can get in the shower and get myself going and the rest of the house. While I have learned how to focus more on appreciation over the years, it has been a concerted effort–relearning how to see the glass as half-full instead of cracked and leaking. I have met other single parents who used to think of themselves as optimistic but since becoming single parents find it more of a challenge. This morning, … Continue reading →

Longevity And Your State of Mind

Nature seems to reward those who love life and are optimistic. Studies from the Yale University indicate that people who are optimistic in middle age tend to live seven years (or more) longer than those who only look on the down side. Why? Researchers from the University of Kentucky think it’s the stress factor. Optimists do get stressed, but they also tend to turn it around quickly and get back to a positive state of mind. So how do you become an optimist if you aren’t one already? There are four habits you can adopt that can make a big … Continue reading →

A Sense of Humor

We talk about all sorts of techniques and coping mechanisms and suggestions for how to make single parenthood a more peaceful and pleasurable experience. But, hands down the most important thing to cultivate, I think, is a sense of humor. Just because we may be keeping a dozen balls in the air and coping with some of the stigma and exhaustion that comes with being a solo parent doesn’t mean we don’t need a sense of humor too. In fact, I think all this is all the more reason we NEED a sense of humor! My kids and I have … Continue reading →