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Watch Out for Those Paranoid Feelings

Recently, I was chatting with another single parent and I felt myself getting downright blue! I realized that in the course of the conversation, she had shared all sorts of paranoid feelings that she was clinging to, ideas about how unsafe the world was, how unsafe her child is, all the institutions and organizations and individuals that are out to get her since she is a lone single parent. I know that paranoid feelings are not the exclusive domain of single parents, but I think we have a tendency to be more susceptible to an isolating “me against the world” … Continue reading →

No One Likes a Martyr

Martyrdom and single parenthood do not have to go hand in hand or be interchangeable. I know it can be really tough NOT to feel like a martyr–someone who is giving it up, doing it all, and who is downtrodden and overworked–but no one likes a martyr and it isn’t particularly healthy for us anyway… Think of how YOU feel when you are around someone who is acting like a martyr. It tends to make us feel angry, aggravated, annoyed, and guilty. It is just no fun to be around someone who is doing the “poor me” act. Even if … Continue reading →

Denial and The Single Parent

You may know by now that denial is an amazingly powerful survival tool. Like many human coping mechanisms, it is not one of those things that is inherently good or bad, but, instead, is a survival skill that has its place. As single parents, we may find ourselves utilizing denial to help us through a particularly difficult time, but at some point, we do have to learn how to process and let go of all that denial. Denial can show its face in many forms–in thinking that we will get back together with an ex who has left or abandoned … Continue reading →

The Guilty Single Parent

Most, if not all, single parents feel guilty. The reasons behind those feelings are different from one to another, but each one has their own and feels that it’s just as an important reason for each one. Some single parents feel guilty that their children are in this situation in the first place. Some feel guilty that they can’t provide the same things for their children that their friends have. Some feel guilty about not being able to spend as much time with their children as they would like. Some feel guilty about the choices that they have to make … Continue reading →

Letting Go of Needing to Prove Yourself to Others

Let’s face it, many of us as single parents feel like we have something to prove. We might feel like we need to prove that we are still good parents even if there is only one of us, we might feel like we need to prove we are good housekeepers and homemakers, good providers and wage-earners, likeable and loveable—you name it. Part of getting healthy as a single parent involves letting go of the need to prove to others that we are “just as good” and that our children and families are “just as good” as those that have two … Continue reading →