Online Dating

by Valerie Nelson | More from this Blogger

05 Apr 2006 06:43 AM

According to a new report from the Pew Internet & American Life Project, 16 million people have visited online dating sites, and the majority (52 percent) have had a positive experience. While 64 percent of respondents believe online dating helps singles find a better match, most Internet users believe that online daters routinely lie about their marital status, while many believe that online services make personal information too readily available to strangers.

What is it that attracts people to try online dating? I think it offers an opportunity to initially put your best foot forward without anybody being able to immediately call you out on any potential embellishments. It also gives people the opportunity to try dating without a high level of commitment. For single parents especially online dating is a convenient way to meet someone.

I tried an online dating service more out of curiosity rather than a desire to find my soul mate. I did not have good results, in fact I had no match! I did try the limited time "Free" service and the in depth test that noted my preferences in a mate were for someone with characteristics very close to Superman, so perhaps that was not realistic, but since I just wanted to try it out to see what online dating was all about, I did not mind not getting a response. In fact I am not sure what I would have done had I gotten a response.

According to an article in azcentral.com, "More than a decade after the Internet revolutionized dating -about two million Americans met their spouses online." That's right over the past ten years nearly two million people have married the person they met online. Now the challenge is for those couples to stay married. The same article tells about the results of one couple's relationship "In 1995, Matt Frassica, tired of singles bars and set-ups by friends, tried his hand at dating online. There he met, and later married, a woman who also liked long walks in the rain and homemade lasagna. They were even featured in People magazine as a prototype of successful cyber-romance. Then the fairy tale ended. Frassica said he realized he was gay, and the divorce was official last year. "We avoided getting to know the real person," says the 34-year-old corporate recruiter in San Francisco. "All we knew was the profiles of each other." (His ex-wife confirms that.)"

Some online dating services are offering new services to help their customers that do get married to reduce the rate of divorce through online counseling and relationship building programs after the marriage. It would be beneficial for people who are dating online to take one or more of these types of programs, or traditional pre-marital counseling, in order to try get to know each other better and to create a stronger understanding of each others needs before marriage.

Learn more about Valerie Nelson

Valerie is a Families.com blogger, freelance writer and small business owner. Valerie helps non-profit organizations with fundraising through grant development for their programs and projects.

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Fran Hopkins (726) 06 Apr 2006 05:00 AM

Interesting article! I think that online dating is no more or less likely to work out that any other method of meeting people. People shouldn't make the mistake of assuming that they know everything about their "match," or that the two of them are "perfect" for each other just because "xx measures of compatability" suggest that they are.

Online dating is how I met my dear sweet soulmate (we'll be together three years in July). So I'm never going to knock it! But although we worked out beautifully, I met a number of men via online dating who didn't! That's why I think that it can work, but like anything else, there are no guarantees.

Valerie Nelson (1149) 07 Apr 2006 05:02 PM

Thanks Fran for your comments.

I think the key to successful dating is getting to really know the person before making a long-term committment regardless of where you met. I am glad the online dating services are now offereing counseling and long term help for relationships.

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