Present Circumstances or Past Issues?by Kori Rodley Irons | More from this Blogger 20 Dec 2007 09:43 AM Most of us single parents know by now that part of our healing and recovery and getting ready to face the future, means that we have to learn how to let go of the past. It can get confusing, however, when there seems to be some "overlap." How can we deal with present circumstances without bringing up past issues? The truth is, current events can very easily bring up triggers or past situations for any of us-not just single parents. But for single parents, we have little reminders all the time of a different family dynamic or a rocky past-letting go completely can be a huge challenge. Plus, if we are still involved in custody battles or still have to interact with those people from "the old days" on a regular basis in our single parenting, we might start to wonder if things will ever change or improve! It is important to try to separate what used to be from what is. This can mean telling yourself that whatever happened in the past is over and done with and today is a brand new day. Once we process our forgiveness, learn to let things go, and learn from some of our trials, we ARE better able to face today's challenges with a fresh perspective. It just is not always possible to stop the triggers that bring up past issues. We can learn how to react differently in present circumstances, however. When I feel myself getting triggered or starting to feel like I am stuck in "Groundhog's Day" and nothing has changed, I find relief in reminding myself that I HAVE CHANGED. That way, things cannot possibly be the same. If nothing else has changed, I can find solace and strength in the fact that I have changed; I am not the same person I used to be and therefore I can face present circumstances quite differently than I dealt with past issues! Also: Staying Open--When We're Tempted to Do Just the Opposite Learn more about Kori Rodley Irons  Bio has been removed by administrator Relevantsingle parenting tags User Comments No comments on this article yet. Be the first to comment! Community Tags mental health, past issues, present Discuss this article
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