Single Parent Families Don't Have to be Chaotic

by Kori Rodley Irons | More from this Blogger

03 Sep 2007 10:29 AM

There is a myth out there that families headed by single parents are overly-chaotic and full of drama and crisis. Well, I think all families have the potential to be full of drama and chaos, and while the single parent family may be born out of painful chaos--we don't have to stay in that state. We can let go of all that crisis and chaos and, after moving through transitions, establish a calm, peaceful and stable family life...

I think that as single parent families, our capacity for chaos can be expanded. Then, we just get so used to it we think it is a natural state. Now, I do think that family life, by nature, is less predictable and demands increased flexibility and appreciation for a bit of chaos--compared to life as a solo adult--but, I don't think it has to be fraught and wrought with drama all the time. We can have more control over getting things "sane" than we might think--after all the unpredictability we might have been through.

So, to a certain extent, we do get to choose to let go of some of that chaos. Really! You may think that once you've welcomed chaos into your family reality as a single parent, it is here to stay. But, you can choose to let go, embrace a more mellow, stable life and say goodbye to the chaos and drama that can become ingrained in some families. It will take a conscious choice and some effort however. When you feel or see drama coming, or feel inclined to let your boundaries slip--you can make other choices and you can model for your children how to NOT get sucked up into drama and chaos. Single parent families do not need to be any more susceptible to drama and chaos than other families!

Also: What is Normal Anyway?

The Myth of a Normal Life: Finding Peace

There's No Such Thing as Doing it All Alone

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