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What Lessons Did I Teach

What has divorce taught our children about love? I worry about what my divorce has taught Hailey about love and marriage. Unfortunately, most of the people she knows have been divorced, at least once. What does this teach our kids? When I was growing up all of my friends parents were married, my grandparents, aunts and uncles, were all married, to their original spouses. The only divorced person I knew was my mother. It’s the opposite for Hailey, she knows hardly anyone with an intact family. There are a few here and there but it seems they are the exception … Continue reading →

Single Parents in the Online Dating Scene

For many single parents it seems as if online dating is the only way to meet someone in our current situation. Most single mothers have a very limited amount of time to meet people. If you’re lucky you get every other weekend to yourself, and most of us spend that time doing all the things that we couldn’t do when our children were there during the week. It’s about the only time we can clean something and have it stay clean for more than five minutes so we take advantage of it. Because of our limited amount of time, online … Continue reading →

Growing Up In a Step Family

It’s funny how society and social expectations change. When I was growing up I was the only child I knew that was being raised in a step parent family. My father was killed in Vietnam when I was three, I have no memory of him. When my father died my mother was 21, she had a three year old, an almost two year old, and one on the way. I can’t imagine being a widow at 21, with three kids, in a time when broken families were not the norm. I think about how much harder it must have been … Continue reading →

Our Kids Need More Exercise

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Are your kids active enough? We all need exercise every day, do your kids get enough? I was always concerned about Hailey’s activity level after I got divorced. When I was married we lived in a house in a nice neighborhood, I knew my neighbors, Hailey knew the kids, we had lived there since she was three. I felt safe letting her go outside to play with other kids. Once I got divorced that changed. We lived in a series of apartments and although they were always in what I felt where good areas, I didn’t feel safe letting her … Continue reading →

Nothing To Be Ashamed Of

The weeks following my divorce were devastating to me. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. It took everything in me just to breathe. I had lost everything; my home, my “family,” my income, my dreams, and most importantly myself. My identity was so wrapped up in my role as a wife and mother that I didn’t know who I was now that I was no longer someone’s wife. I was barely functional and spent that time in a deep depression that I had little hope of pulling out of on my own. My parents begged me to get some counseling, … Continue reading →

The Stages of Being Alone

When you first get divorced you go through the stages of grief. You are mourning a loss, even if you initiated that divorce or were in an abusive relationship, it’s still a loss. Under the pain of the divorce lies all your hopes and dreams, that is what you are mourning, what could have been. One of the first things you have to come to terms with when you divorce is being alone. When your children are with you it may seem that you never have a moment to yourself, but this is a different type of loneliness. Initially you … Continue reading →

Opportunities To Serve

I recently wrote about children needing to learn to respect their elders. We need to take advantage of all teachable moments. As a single mother there may already be so much on your to do list that one more thing will push you over the edge but we are their first teacher and need to be aware of it. Our children will learn by what they see us do. If we are rude to salespeople, waitresses or telemarketers we are telling our children it’s ok to be rude to other people. It’s hard after working all day, coming home to … Continue reading →

Get Outside

Our children are at risk of obesity along with a whole range of health problems simply because spending time outside is no longer a parental priority. When I was growing up, we were outside, coming in only for meals. There were lots of neighbor kids to play with and because most of our mothers were home during the day, no one really worried about us. My mother knew if she couldn’t see me one of the neighbors could. I remember my grandmother saying “Go outside, get the stink blown off of you.” That was her way of saying it was … Continue reading →

Baby Bullies

My son loves his daycare. He’s made lots of little friends and is learning social skills that he may not have learned otherwise being an only child at home. But lately I’ve been a little worried about him. He’s been coming home saying that one little boy in particular has been being mean to him. Little kids often get into little scuffles over having to share a favorite toy or taking turns on the swings, but when Logan started coming home from daycare with scratches all over him I knew I had to do something. I couldn’t switch daycares at … Continue reading →

The Monkees’ Davy Jones Dead at 66

If you turned on the radio today and heard a Monkees song, you might not have thought much about it. But, the radio station I listen to played several Monkee songs in a row and for a sad reason. The Monkees lead singer Davy Jones died today of a heart attack at the age of 66. My son is in second grade and when I was that age, I loved the Monkees. I mean, I LOVED them. I had their posters all over my walls, forced my parents to watch their television show – I was just terribly smitten. Of … Continue reading →