Search Results for: blog strong parent emotions can be scary

Healing Can Be Ongoing

I think that we have a tendency to think of healing and recovery as an obstacle to be overcome. For both ourselves and our children, if we are recovering from something painful and traumatic like a separation, divorce, death, or other major life-altering event, there is not necessarily one “graduation” point where we go from suffering to being “all better.” Healing can take time and it can definitely be ongoing. I have written before about how we can expect things that we thought were dead and buried to come up again and again for our kids. As our kids go … Continue reading →

Strong Parent Emotions Can be Scary

It is not uncommon or unhealthy for us single parents to experience some really strong emotions–whether we are in the midst of a separation or a divorce, or have been through the death of a spouse–strong emotions are really part of the package. It is important to remember, however, that for children, our bubbling over and erupting with strong emotions can be a very scary experience. I have written before about how are children need to be able to trust that we have things under control and that we are in charge. Of course, it is only human that we … Continue reading →

Preschool Concerns: Why doesn’t my child want to go back to school?

Preschool concerns are normal when a child resists going to school. You may find yourself wondering if your child is adjusting to this new environment. You may wonder if the teacher is doing her job. You may wonder how the other children are treating your child. When is it normal to resist preschool and when should you look for a deeper problem? How much time do you give before taking action? Is your child simply taking longer to adjust than you expect? Normal separation anxiety: Preschool is a big step for children as for most it is the first time … Continue reading →

Estate Planning and the Step Family

For too many of us, estate planning is the thing we’re always going to get to but often don’t. It’s like flossing, but with exponentially greater potential for harm. I understand why we procrastinate, believe me I do, but a failure to act in this department can have a devastating effect on your family. Our financial planner had been after us to create an estate plan for a year; as we began preparations for an extended trip through Mexico, it seemed irresponsible not to have something in place. We contacted an attorney who came highly recommended, and blithely scheduled an … Continue reading →

Are You Afraid To Give Your Heart Again?

Being single and alone, you have been through some type of emotional upheaval of some sort. Either you have weathered the storm in bearing a child all by yourself without marriage, you have been through a divorce, or you have been through the death of a spouse. Any one of these scenarios qualifies you for a bravery medal. You have lived love and lost love and with that there is most likely heartbreak involved. So you have been alone, maybe for some time now and you are tired of it. You want to go out again. You are feeling pretty … Continue reading →

Have Yourself a Pity Party

Every once in a while it happens to the best of us. In between being so busy with work and kids we start to reflect on our lives. That downward spiraling feeling comes to haunt us when we least expect it. This is normal so do not fret. The life of a single parent is tough. We are tough. We have to be. Every so often though we are as weak as baby kittens. This is our pity party time. Go at it and let it happen. It is good to let it all out. The bad feelings need to … Continue reading →

Feelings do Pass

When we are in the midst of strong emotions and feelings, it can seem as though things will never change. Overwhelming feelings like depression, frustration, regret and others can really take hold of us. It is important, therefore, to remind ourselves that everything changes—all feelings do pass and even if it feels completely overwhelming today, it will likely change tomorrow or the next day… Single parents do not have the market cornered on strong, overwhelming feelings but I have yet to meet a single parent who does not wrestle with occasional bouts of pretty heavy emotions. For some odd reason, … Continue reading →

Don’t Try to Talk Them Out of Feelings

Can there be anything more aggravating than having someone try to tell you that you are not “really” upset or that you are NOT actually feeling the way you know yourself to be feeling? And yet, as parents, we often do this to our children. We negate their emotions or try to convince them that things cannot be nearly as bad as they “imagine” or that their feelings are wrong, inappropriate or inconvenient. What sort of a message is this sending to our children? Our children need to learn how to identify and claim their feelings and they won’t be … Continue reading →

Family Counseling—Feeling Vulnerable

For many of us, family or individual counseling eventually comes into the picture. We may seek counseling to help us over a rough patch or to help our family after a separation, divorce, death, or other family crisis. Once we have taken the plunge and reached out for help, the hard part is definitely not over. It is very typical to feel anxious and vulnerable as you embark on family counseling. As someone who was never “against” counseling, but just didn’t think that my family or family members would ever need it, I know first hand how vulnerable it can … Continue reading →

Crying in Front of Your Children

I am an easy crier—I cry at movies, television shows, Hallmark commercials, and I cry when I get overly tired or overwhelmed or get my feelings hurt. My kids are not always comfortable when I cry in front of them, but I have never tried to hide my tears or emotions—as long as they were appropriate. Recently, however, I was talking with another parent who said she tried to keep her children from seeing her cry and I had to confess that thought had never crossed my mind! I am definitely from the “emotions are healthy” school of thought. Now, … Continue reading →