You Need to Find a New Best Friend

Friendships are important in our lives and having one or two close confidants is a healthy thing to do for yourself. It is especially important if you are a single parent. Many single parents fall into the trap of trying to make their child their best friend. While it is wonderful to have that close bond and relationship with your child, there are a few things you need to consider. Best friends should not be children. You need adults to talk to, and more specifically someone who might know what you are going through, or be able to offer advice … Continue reading

Myths About Child Support

If you are a single parent with custody of your child, you should be collecting child support. However, that isn’t always the case. Did you know that according to the National Coalition for Child Support, there is $89 Billion in past-due child support currently uncollected in the United States. That doesn’t even include the parents who haven’t even sought child support yet. With so many people collecting child support out there, it seems that several myths have cropped up and here they are: Myth: Child Support goes to the child or children. Fact: Child support is exactly that – support. … Continue reading

Being Both Parents

Single parenting is so much more common these days, than it was even ten years ago. Parents wind up as single parents in a variety of ways, but once common thing remains the same – often a single parent feels as if they need to be both parents at once. So how do you go about being both parents at the same time, especially if the other parent isn’t involved or has limited involvement? First of all, you don’t try to be two people at once. You need to focus on being the best mom or dad that you can … Continue reading

Finding Time For Yourself

Sometimes as a single parent it is difficult to find or make time for yourself. There isn’t anybody else to sit with the kids during homework time, or tuck them in bed at night. Single parents often feel as if they never get any time at all. It is important to rectify that as soon as possible, to prevent resentment from building. How do single parents find time for themselves? Early Riser/Night Owl Many single parents choose to wake an hour earlier than their children, or stay up a little later after their children have gone to sleep. This doesn’t … Continue reading

Single Parenting is Hard

Let’s face it. No matter how hard we try, or what we say or do – single parenting is difficult. The world changes around us each day. New things come onto our plates, and we try to acclimate and adjust, yet still the act of parenting a child or children is difficult when there is only one of us around. You are trying to be two parents at once, even when the other parent is still involved. And even when the other parent is still involved, situations arise that become difficult to face, accept and move on from. So what … Continue reading

Focus on Shared Interests

Communicating with our children can be challenging–and not just for single parents either. As our lives get so full with responsibilities and activities, and our children grow and change, it can be tough to stay connected. Life can be hectic and having unlimited time to sit down and catch up just might not be happening. Focusing on keeping some shared interests alive can be one way that a single parent can stay connected with his or her children. If you are a non-custodial parent or do not get to see your children on a regular basis, you know how challenging … Continue reading

Bonds Need to be Stretched and Tested

If you love something, set it free…blah blah blah—we’ve all heard that saying a zillion times and I’m sure it has been applied to parenting at least half that many times. In reality, however, our bonds with our children are strengthened and encouraged when they are stretched and tested. Often it is the being apart and going out into the real world that makes kids feel even closer and more attached to their parents and families. I know that it seems like it should be just the opposite—that we should keep our children in close and maintain our influence over … Continue reading

Hoarding and Protecting Family Time

This past weekend, I spent most of my non-work and non-responsibility time with my kids. Instead of saying “yes” to invitations from others, I chose instead to say “yes” to invitations from my offspring. Having been through some rather bumpy and rocky teenage times and, now that my older daughters actually WANT to do things with mom again, I feel compelled to hoard and protect these times that we can spend together as a family. My sixteen and seventeen year-old daughters and I went to dinner and a movie on Friday night, and then spent Saturday morning at the farmer’s … Continue reading

Bonding is an Ongoing Process

I remember when I was a new mother with babies and young toddlers; there was a great deal of talk and advice about “bonding.” As I absorbed it then, bonding was something that happened with parents and babies and if you didn’t get it right in those early weeks and months, things were never going to be right between parent and child. What I have actually learned, however, in the passing years and developmental changes, is that bonding is an ongoing process and there are unending opportunities to bond, connect, and get to know each other for a parent and … Continue reading

Tips for Single Parents to Build a Good Parent/Child Relationship (2)

Continuing yesterday’s article on helping single parents form the best parent/child relationship they can, I offer a few more tips. Remember the Moments Always remember holidays and birthdays. Even if your child is away from you on that holiday and you celebrated early, or are celebrating late – call them, send them an e-card, anything to let them know you are thinking of them on that exact day and that you miss them. Be Supportive Be sure that you always have support around you. This helps you to always be supportive of your children. You have to take care of … Continue reading