Search Results for: blog when you think the other parent is a slacker

Halloween: A Parent’s Worst Nightmare

If you watched ABC’s Good Morning America earlier today, then you probably wish that Halloween would be cancelled all together, especially if you are a parent. The morning show did a bang up job trying to scare the daylights out of moms and dads with a segment about the many, many, many, many ways kids could die on October 31st. Actually, I think piece was designed to increase safety and parental awareness regarding the dangers that lurk on All Hallows’ Eve, but all I walked away with was a dozen or so ways my kid could meet her maker on … Continue reading →

Kids Can Pick up on the Tension, Even if you don’t Say Anything

Many of us single parents try really hard NOT to say anything negative or hateful about the ex or our ex-in-laws. Perhaps we are not perfect, but I do know that many single parents do try to keep their anger and anxiety to themselves. As long as there is tension, stress and negativity, however, whether it is unspoken or not—our kids do pick up on it. Does this mean we have to repress our feelings even further or can there be healthy ways of working thing out? I am of the opinion that it is the buried and repressed things … Continue reading →

When You Think the Other Parent is a Slacker

I know that there are divorced, separated, and other versions of co-parents who manage to have lovely, equal, 50/50 relationships and share completely in co-parenting their children. For most of us, however, that just is not the case. I wrote yesterday about how I still get occasionally angry about the realistic imperfections of my world as a single parent and thought we could take the discussion a step further. I know that we are not all full custodial parents here, but for those of us who are, or who have joint custody, it can be challenging and frustrating when the … Continue reading →

Are You Putting Pressure on Yourself with Deadlines and Expectations?

Single parenting can be tough enough–without our putting extra pressure on ourselves by setting unreasonable deadlines of having expectations that we can accomplish more than is reasonable. It might be easy to blame the “world” or our jobs or other outside influences when things get really stressful–but we might be bringing some of this stress on ourselves! This morning I was up early–let us just say it was still rather dark outside–and before I even turned on my computer to start working, I was fussing trying to get some packages wrapped. I kept thinking of the “deadline” of getting all … Continue reading →

When Parents Are Too Competitive About Everything

Years ago, when my children were still preschool age, my daughters went to a preschool that in many ways was absolutely wonderful. BUT, I had a hard time blending very well with the other parents—mostly because they seemed to be an usually competitive group. Now I’m not talking about parents screaming on the sidelines at a soccer game, I’m talking about bragging, boasting, and comparing every single milestone and developmental step. To hear these parents talk, you’d think that no child had ever done anything before theirs! Of course, there are always some parents who feel very competitive about things … Continue reading →

Quieting the “Should” Voice

From the conversations I have had with other single parents, I know that I am not alone when I confess to wrestling with the “shoulds”–it doesn’t seem to matter WHAT I am doing; how I have carefully organized my time or how productive I am attempting to be, I cannot help but think of all the other things that I SHOULD be doing too (or instead). Even if I am making the best possible decision for the moment, there always seem to be a dozen other things that I could or think that maybe I should be doing… What an … Continue reading →

Real Boys – William Pollack, Ph.D.

“Real Boys” was first introduced on the Oprah Winfrey Show some years ago. I bought it because I’d just had my first son, but to be honest (and sheepish) I actually didn’t read it until two days ago, and that son is nearly nine. I’ve also had two sons since then. Sometimes I’m a book slacker. I was mainly interested in this book because I grew up in a household of all girls, and knew practically nothing about boys. I hoped this book would be the key to unlocking the mysterious gender and would guide me to be a better … Continue reading →

Will They Ever Be Responsible Enough for My Taste?

I am hyper-responsible. I suppose if there was a recovery or 12-step group for oldest children/single parents who have developed into incredibly responsible adults, I would attend and hope that I could learn how to ease up a little. The truth is, I am the way I am—whether due to temperament or life circumstances–and it definitely influences the way I parent my three children. I cannot help but compare them to me and wonder if they will ever reach the same level of responsibility? Maybe they don’t HAVE to reach the same level but I entertain plenty of stress fussing … Continue reading →

Moms Can Be Bullies Too

When we think of bullying, we typically think of kids bullying other kids. According to Ann Dunnewold, in her book, Even June Cleaver Would Forget The Juice Box, she reminds us that some parents are equally as guilty of being bullies. The bullying takes on a more subtle tone and can be expressed by “gossip, dismissal, exclusion, open or veiled criticism, teasing, manipulation, betrayal, dishonesty and humiliation”. These acts can be aimed at parent or kids. Dunnewold also points out that some moms bully by their words or gestures and much of the bullying behavior moms have is learned in … Continue reading →

Kudos to This Innovative Principal. . .

Who challenged his K-8th grade students to collectively read 10,000 books. He said that they could pick their reward. They chose to shave the initials “HP” (for Harrington Park where the school is located) and to send their beloved principal to the roof for an overnight. Apparently, when he initially made the deal, he thought it would take the student body until at least spring time to do it. But they met their goal much quicker than he had expected. So last night, he went up to the roof to spend the night outside. If you live in the North … Continue reading →