We all know how important the co-parenting relationship is after a divorce. You have children together, and thus will be dealing with each other for a very long time, which means you are going to have to find a way to get along when it comes to the kids. Sometimes this is relatively easy, sometimes it can be a nightmare. Having to stay in contact with someone who has hurt you deeply is never ideal. It’s natural to harbor some resentment after everything you’ve been through, but you have to put those things aside for the sake of your children. … Continue reading →

A few weeks ago my ex-husband asked me if he could take Logan to a trunk-or-treat with his girlfriend’s daughter. It happened to fall on my weekend, but I told him that he could take him anyway. Weeks went by without another word about it and the night before I was debating about whether or not to say anything. Perhaps he had forgotten and wasn’t going to take him after all. I went back and forth for quite some time as I tried to decide what to do. I selfishly wanted to say nothing and hope that he didn’t show … Continue reading →

Tonight Logan and I went to one of his friend’s birthday parties at Jungle Jim’s here in Utah. This little boy’s mother and I have been friends for several years and have watched each other go through the many struggles of single parenting. However, tonight I watched as her and her ex put aside all their differences so that they could both be there to celebrate their little one’s birthday. They stood beside each other as they took their son around to each of the different rides and laughed and joked with each other about how cute the kids were … Continue reading →

By far one of the most difficult things you will face as you are going through the divorce process is the issue of parent time, formerly known as visitation. It is important to have this spelled out in your decree because it will save you the trouble of fighting over it later. Just because you agree on something at the time of the divorce doesn’t mean that someone won’t change their mind later. If it’s not in writing, there is nothing binding you to that agreement and you are in for a real mess down the line. Having a set … Continue reading →

Saying that little two letter word has always been a struggle for me. I don’t like to disappoint or upset people, as a result, I often find myself in situations that I really don’t have the time or the energy to be in. Now that I am divorced, I find myself doing the same thing with my ex-husband. My fear of conflict often causes me to give in to the inconvenience of the things he asks on a regular basis. “I have plans tonight, can I get him now instead?” Well, of course. “I got off work early and don’t … Continue reading →

It’s amazing the effect that those two little words can have on people. It is important to show your appreciation when someone has gone out of their way to do something nice for you. Those two words can make all the difference in your relationship. When you are in a co-parenting relationship, you are often asked to compromise and work together. This isn’t always easy, and it is often inconvenient, but you do it for the sake of your children. Can you imagine what a simple “thank you” would do here? When you forget to thank your ex for working … Continue reading →

I’ve never been very good at standing up for myself. I’m a pleaser, so I tend to let people walk all over me, my ex husband included. There have been many times that I have given in to him to avoid the contention that inevitably follows if I don’t. This is something I have struggled with for as long as I can remember, but I have finally come to the realization that it has to stop, because my needs are important too. Many times I have become so consumed with keeping the peace, that I forget to take care of … Continue reading →

As a single parent you never dreamed that you wouldn’t get to spend every single holiday with your child. Having to share birthdays and holidays can get rather complicated sometimes. No matter what you do, someone is left missing your child. For some of us this gets even more complicated because of when our children’s birthdays fall. My son happened to be born on his father’s birthday, causing things to be a little more difficult now that we’re divorced. According to the statute here in Utah the parent’s birthdays aren’t taken into account, so we are supposed to alternate just … Continue reading →

My ex and I were raised in very different families. The value systems are in many cases quite the opposite, so even when we were married it was difficult to agree on the best way to raise our son. Now that we are divorced, the challenges are far greater. Ultimately neither of us can control what the other ones teaches our son or where they take him or who they bring him around. Having that lack of control when it comes to your child is one of the most difficult aspects of divorce. It’s one I often still struggle with, … Continue reading →

Last night I was reminded just how crucial it is to communicate with your ex spouse. Most of the time my ex and I get along fairly well. Even though we weren’t married anymore, we knew it was important to have a good relationship with each other for our son’s sake. We do our best to work together on things because, coming from broken homes ourselves, we both knew how important that was for Logan. For the last couple of months we have had some trouble communicating. He has a new girlfriend and so the dynamics of things changed drastically. … Continue reading →