Search Results for: blog wrestling with identity

Wrestling with Identity

If someone was to ask me what I thought a major “issue” is for single parent families, I would have to say that it has to do with identity. I know that people think of things like custody and finances when it comes to single parent families, but I think one of our major tasks—both as parents and as children—is to sort out a new and evolving identity for ourselves that jives with how our family is NOW… We may have started out partnered or married, or thought of ourselves as part of a parenting team. Our children certainly had … Continue reading →

Expecting Transitions

We adults and parents are not the only ones to go through transitions. We may think of our children as growing up or going through developmental stages, but our kids go through plenty of transitional periods too. As parents, understanding and expecting transitions can help us to be able to keep things in perspective, be supportive, and keep from making a “big deal” out of behavior choices or circumstances that are transitional. Sure, there are those reasonably predictable developmental stages that appear on the charts at the doctor’s office and in parenting books, but our children have individual growth patterns … Continue reading →

Neighborhood and Environment for Single Parent Families

This is not going to be an article about how there are “good” neighborhoods and “bad” ones; nor do I want to promote classism and racism–instead, I wanted to talk about how environment does matter when it comes to having a healthy and supportive place to raise a family as a single parent. That doesn’t have to mean huge expansive lawns and 3-car-garages. Choosing a place to live where we feel safe, supported, and where our children have access to everything they need–all within our budget can be a big challenge for a single parent, but so incredibly important. I … Continue reading →

Have You Heard the Term “Time Poverty”?

I was flipping through a business trade magazine this morning while sitting at my desk and came across an article that used the term “time poverty”—I haven’t heard this term before, or if I have I missed it. I decided it was the perfect term for a harried single parent—if there is one term that can often describe my wrestling with time issues it would be “time poverty”! Like many single parents, I have definitely teetered on the edge of the more traditional idea of poverty—one adult, one income and a family to support does not make for the most … Continue reading →

Is There Something You Would Rather Be Doing? (Instead of Parenting)

Recently, I heard a single parent state that she thought things would be going better in her family if she was “more into” parenting. As she said it, there were other things that she liked to do better than being a parent. What an interesting situation, I thought and I actually felt compassion for her and her family. I often take for granted the fact that I chose to be a parent and while I do look after myself and have my own interests, my kids and family life are at the center of my world. It has never dawned … Continue reading →

Strong Enough to Withstand Judgment

As a single parent, I admit that I do sometimes feel judged–judged by teachers, by my children’s father and his new partner, by other people, and certainly by my own children. The truth is, however, as long as I am doing the best that I can, I also need to learn how to be strong enough to withstand the judgment and be true to myself regardless… I know that for many of us this is easier said than done. I admit that it irks me when I hear that my parenting is being questioned and picked apart by my kids’ … Continue reading →

Allowing Yourself to Be Comforted

Okay, so single parents are tough—at least many of us like to think that we are. But does this mean that we have to be stoic and tough all of the time? If we get sad, depressed, lonely, or frustrated, does this mean that we are weak or “less” of a parent? For some of us, learning how to let others help and comfort us can be a big personal challenge… Comfort can come in the most unsuspecting places, but we do have to open ourselves up and let ourselves feel and appreciate that comfort. Now, I am not talking … Continue reading →

Sumo Mouse – David Wisniewski

I spend a lot of time reading titles as I select which books to bring home from the library. This title made me laugh out loud, something you shouldn’t do in the library, but can you blame me? “Sumo Mouse!” With bright and colorful illustrations provided by the author, this children’s picture book is written like a melodramatic comic book with a hint of the old Godzilla movies thrown in for good measure. “Sumo Mouse” is the story of Tokyo besieged. All the mice have been stolen by evil cats and are captives at the Tanaka Toy Factory. They are … Continue reading →