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The Role of Facilitator

One of the realities of many separated and divorced or otherwise single parent families is that there is often “sides.” Children feel like they need to take sides (or avoid taking sides) between parents and families and we single parents may feel like we are definitely on one side or the other. As we heal, recover and move on, however, we may find that our circumstance calls on us to play more a facilitator role and bring diverging sides together. I have mixed feelings personally about finding myself playing the role of facilitator in my family situation. Part of me … Continue reading →

Single Parents: Different Worries

As I said before, single parents have the same hopes and fears as a married parent. We worry about the same things, with a few extra things thrown in. In this blog I’ll talk about some of the things that single parents have to worry about that married parents don’t. 1. Child support is a big worry for single parents. Will it come or won’t it? If it will, when will it come? Is it enough to subsidize our current income? If it isn’t coming, or hasn’t in a while, is there anything that I can do to make it … Continue reading →

Negotiating (and Renegotiating) Which Parent Does What

Many of us single parents have an ex-spouse or co-parent who we need to work with in the process of raising our children. Good or bad, adequate working relationship or not, we still have to find a way to negotiate (and often times, renegotiate) which parent is going to take care of what. This can be anything but an easy, comfortable task! I’m speaking from experience when I admit that even the best laid plans can go awry. I tend to be a painfully organized person when it comes to paperwork and agreements, and just because it is written down … Continue reading →

You May Need Agreements, Contracts, and Established Meetings

Not every divorce and single-parent family situation is a smooth, casual arrangement. In fact, some of the most functional divorce, custody, and co-parenting situation actually have a fair amount of structure to them. It may be necessary to put contracts, written agreements and established meeting times (and rules) in place in order to create a good working relationship between parents and families in the aftermath of a divorce or separation (or in the instance of unmarried or partnered co-parents.) Using contracts and written agreements is NOT a sign of failure. In fact, it is actually a very responsible and adult … Continue reading →